A Prequel [Book 8] in Her Destiny Series ||| ❝His family was blinded by greed and he lost everything in the crossfire.❞
▫▫▫▫ ▫▫▫▫
Everyone knew his family was a twisted one, they slaughtered packs for power. He was trapped, unable to escape t...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The cost of war is blood.
He had heard others say it but he could never understand it until that very moment. His feet remained unmoving, rooted in place, as he finally opened his eyes and saw what had taken place around him.
Wolves ran around him, battling till the death, and bodies fell like birds from the sky. It was like chaos, a tornado destroying everything around him, and it was as if he didn't exist. As he stood there, those at war ignored him. Perhaps it was because something died in him just then.
He could barely comprehend what he was seeing. He didn't recognize the wolves that were winning and taking down their enemy, which meant only one thing. His breathing halted at the realization.
Someone grabbed ahold of his shoulder and he was too stunned to react. Luckily, it was only Fox. His Gamma was covered in blood. His lungs shriveled from the lack of oxygen. Everything felt like a nightmare in that moment and he couldn't open his eyes. He was stuck, with eyes wide open, and a noose around his neck.
"We need to retreat," Fox sounded panicked, eyes flickering around, "We have to go before it's too late. There are too many and they're following their Alpha."
"I just killed..." He stated in a daze, and then he paused as he remembered, "Russell."
He had forgotten about his brother in the heat of the moment. His stomach continued to sink with the weight of the situation he had caused because not only had he directed all his attention on Braxton and ignored all else happening, he had just made his brother Alpha by right.
He couldn't have made it easier. Instead of ending the reign of terror, he had just cleared the path for another to begin; and he couldn't stop it.
"Joel, please," Fox tugged on his arm, his voice echoing in desperation, which was something that never happened, "Call our brothers, let us go home. We have lost."
Lost.
"You could not warn me sooner?" He felt like a ghost in his own body, everything was blurring together in a surreal feeling. Words left his lips without conscious thought. "How had we...?"
"We tried," Fox glanced at him in distress, or perhaps it was concern that his Alpha wasn't forming coherent sentences, "We called to you, many times, but... you were lost. You didn't hear us." For some reason, he heard the bitter words Fox didn't speak. You left us.
His ghostly gaze drifted past Fox, taking in the death that had occurred. A sea of flesh and blood that cascaded over the once green earth, riveting him in a way he couldn't explain.
He was used to seeing bodies, it was a natural state for him since a little boy, but this? This was something entirely different. Something so terrifying it froze his blood and squeezed his withering heart until it might burst within him. He wasn't just looking at faces, he was looking at familiar faces. Brothers he knew.
Brothers he had killed.
You were lost.
Those words were burned into his brain, a deathly echo of his selfish failure.
In his own thirst for revenge, he had forgotten those who followed him bravely into a battle that hadn't been theirs. It was his own battle. With the demons from his past, with the ache of his lost mate, and none of that should have cost the lives of his brothers.
He was hardly aware of Fox shouting orders, drawing the remaining Radburn members to retreat. When in a situation where the Alpha is absent or incapable of function, the Beta or Gamma is permitted to step in. He hadn't realized General and Amigo were nowhere to be seen. He could hardly focus on his bloody hands.
Blood that permanently stained his skin.
"Run," Fox shoved him, perhaps a bit too harshly.
His wolf snarled in his mind at the disrespect of the demand but his human side was still too stunned to function. It was a strange state he found himself in. He had gotten his revenge but why did it feel like his body was sinking? He felt a weight pushing him down, trying to make him disappear, and nothing was registering in his mind.
Somehow, he found himself running in his wolf form, that which his wolf had partial control. His paws splayed in warm, rivers of blood as he scrambled over the bodies. Everything felt uncoordinated and strange.
Blood hit his face from his brothers retreating with him, and he flinched from it. His spine tingled in discomfort when he heard the noise of sloshing water, only it was blood, as his paws continued to move amongst the few brothers that were left.
He had never been scared of blood nor death but something was overtaking his mind. It was like a shadow that swept over him, emptying his body, until it felt like his very soul had abandoned him.
Not to mention the fact that he couldn't feel anything. He had sustained injuries from an Alpha, which didn't heal like normal injuries, but it didn't slow him. His wolf continued to move them out of Conquistador territory. He was scarcely aware of Fox taking his place.
Fox rounded up the remaining brothers they had left, pushing them through the forest at a quickening pace, even when most of them were injured. Unlike when they first arrived, they crashed through the forest with unsteady movements. Twigs snapped and broke, echoing through the empty forest.
He hadn't seen his Betas. He didn't know where they ended up and when he tried to reach out, they had blocked off the mind link. He could hardly think straight.
In that moment, he was hardly an Alpha.
That thought struck him like a knife in his stuttering heart. He was running from the battle like a kicked pup because his mind couldn't comprehend the brothers he had killed. They had followed him there, and he had left them in their time of need. He couldn't even lead the retreat, his Gamma had to step in.
Maybe Braxton had been right about one thing.
He was not worthy.
And he had never been.
※ ※ ※
How many times can one fall before they don't get back up?
Just as this book has been entirely brutal, you should expect nothing less for the end. It is always sad to reach the end but this one has utterly defeated me the past few months. Regardless, after completion, I will be entering FJ in Wattys 2021!
