Oliver wood imagine's

commitment issues

It's hella frustrating being as complicated as I am because I like guys and I get strong feelings for them and when I find out they like me back sometimes I stop liking them or I do still like them and we start having a thing untilllll they want to make things official and that is where things go to shit I panic and shut it all down then start crying alone because I can't even commit to a stupid relationship. I really don't understand why it's so hard for me but anyway I'm saying all this because I'm in one of those situations right now with Oliver wood he likes me a lot and I really like him a lot he knows how I am so he is being so patient with me but I feel bad doing this to him. I don't know what to do but I do know that I definitely need help.

"Hey y/n," Oliver says to me sitting down in class next to me.

"Hey," I say back causally.

I get kind of nervous around him now cause I just want so badly to say yeah I will be your girlfriend but instead, there's like this kind of awkwardness between us.

"Look I feel really bad putting you in an uncomfortable position I really think you would be better off just moving on from me it would make your life so much easier like if you moved on we wouldn't have to stop being friends," I say to Oliver feeling really guilty.

"Y/n I know I have the option to move on from you and I know that what I'm in for isn't going to easy but I chose to stay here and wait for you because to me you're worth any uncomfortable awkward situations I really like you y/n so I'm gonna wait till you ready or know what you want," He says not breaking eye contact which lowkey made me like nervous or something.

"Okay well if you think you can handle the challenge of being able to deal with how unreasonable complicated I am, go for it and good luck," I say in a kind of sarcastic tone laughing a little at the end.

He chuckles a little and turns to the professor and starts listening.

***

Okay, it's been 2 weeks now and I need to hurry the hell up because a boy can only handle a girl's weird complication for so long. They say they can wait but they really can't. So I have been thinking constantly long and hard about what I want I have been thinking so hard I haven't been able to sleep well at night and I sound ridiculous and dramatic but this stuff is so weird and scary for me. I'm going to find Oliver and tell him the decision I have made.

I walked downstairs to see if maybe he was like sitting on the couch or something but he wasn't anywhere in the Gryffindor common room. I saw Fred and George Weasley and decided to ask them if they'd seen Oliver.

"Hey, Fred and George uhm I was wondering if you had seen Oliver today or know where he is?" I asked the boys casually.

"yeh we saw him he just left to go sit in the courtyard" George answered.

"Why you need to see him? You finally getting with him?" Fred adds with a smirk on his face.

I roll my eyes.

"None of your business anyway thanks bye," I say leaving the boys to go find Oliver.

I took my time walking to find Oliver enjoying how beautiful the castle is I was in no hurry to find him in fact I wasn't going slow enough and  I'm really hoping I'm making the right decision.

A couple minutes later I saw him sitting in the courtyard my stomach started getting nauseous do I really wanna do this now? Like am I sure this is what I want? I don't even know if this is what I want. I feel like I always make the wrong decision but I just gotta full send it and just get it over with. I walked over to him.

"Hey Oliver" I said trying to sound as casual and calm as possible while the inside of e wanted to throw up and hide under a rock sadly I wasn't able to find a rock big enough so I had to tough it out.

"Hey Y/n what's up?" Oliver says with a sweet innocent look.

"My anxiety." I say bluntly. 

"What?" He says kind of laughing but confused.

"I came to tell you I have made my decision and I have no idea if it's the right one and I seem to always feel like I have made the wrong one but I think I want to see what happens if we try to date so yeah that is my decision." I say just getting straight to the point I think?

Oliver kind of was shocked at what I said I don't think he expected e to actually agree or at least not this soon.

"Wha- really?" He says as if this was some kind of prank.

"No I'm joking my friend is over there recording this all right now" I say sarcastically.

He looks around kind of believing me.

"Oliver I was joking yeah I'm serious" I say laughing.

"Oh" He says laughing looking back at me.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"yes I am sure" I reply rethinking 

"Okay...well wow this is great news uh sorry I'm still a little surprised I didn't expect this" He says laughing now with a big smile on his face.

"Well what now?" I ask.

"Uhm I'm not really sure I'm just as new to relationships as you are" he says.

we both just kind of laugh.

"This is kind of awkward" I say.

"Yeah this kind of is" He replies just as awkward.

"What would we do normally?" I ask.

"I can't remember" He says laughing again.

"Uhm well how about we go back to the common room and hangout there and maybe being around our friends will make things less awkward." I say hoping that would be a good plan.

"Uh yeah, yeah that sounds like a good idea..Uhm do we hold hands or?" He says so awkward.

"Oh my gosh this is painfully awkward how about we just act normal for now and not think to much about it" I say not even caring about what has happened anymore this is incredibly awkward and I can't take it.

He just laughs.

"Yeah another good idea c'mon" he says walking and I follow.

The walk back is kind of weird cause neither of us don't really know what to talk about but once we are almost to the common room it get's a little less weird cause we find something to talk about. I really hope the whole time me and him are in a relationship it's not this awkward.