WEiRd FAMily

Virginity!

It is a normal day in Aloha household. The head of the family watches YouTube videos of various pastors performing miracles. His wife reads the newspaper, while Noel watches Nora as she tries to solve one of his weird puzzles.

Mr. Aloha suddenly pauses the video and says in amusement, "This Pastor can cure gays, I think I should take my niece to him."

"Papa, How many times do I tell you, homosexuality is not a disease!" Nora exclaims as she takes a break from those exhausting mind games. "Conversion therapy has been banned since long!" She says and wonders if her father will ever learn.

"I do have a doubt though" Her brother interupts her. His sudden question temporarily stops Nora from lecturing her father. Once he has her attention, Noel asks in all seriousness, "Do lesbians ever lose their virginity?"

That's an unexpected question.

"Well" Nora thinks for few seconds and then answers, "By technical definition, no. But I guess, each one of us have our own definitions when it comes to virginity." She shrugs and adds, "I mean if someone uses a huge sex toy, there is no way for us doctors know the difference"

Her mother conveniently ignores the conversation on pretense of reading the newspaper. She goes on to wonder why the people in her family almost always discuss topics that no other families talk about. Probably, the perks of sending both her kids to Med school. Medical lisence essentially grants someone the lisence to talk about any shit. Literally. They do have a whole class on 'feaces'.

"Children, let me enlighten you about one's virginity." Mr. Aloha says in all confidence, "Jesus once said 'You commit adultery even by looking at others with lustful eyes.' Similarly, I believe that you are no longer a virgin, if you have ever had impure thoughts." He concludes and seems quite satisfied with his statement.

"Huh?" Nora chuckles "Then most of the people above eleven years aren't one!"

Her father isn't done yet. He continues, "To be closer to God, one must refrain self from impure thoughts and practice abstinence. I have been living the life of a priest since past one year" He feels proud as he declares this personal information.

"What!" Both his children exclaim in unison. Their father isn't even fifty-five. Religious sentiments apart, the reason for abstinence could be due to erectile dysfunction or low libido, owing to health problems like- hormonal imbalance, artery block, blood pressure, diabetes, side effect of a medicine, etc. The siblings can not take his words lightly, and immediately look towards their mother for confirmation.

Mrs. Aloha, on the other hand, doesn't realize the depth of its seriousness. She quietly continues to read her newspaper. None of this matters to her, when there's more important issue at hand- like the 'Budget' released by finance minister.

A/N
Writing destresses me. But I also have my exams 'round the corner (T_T)
Nvm. See you later. Aloha!
P. S. I am not sure if this book needs a mature tag. So let me know if it does.