Shattered Illusions (ON HOLD)

Chapter 11 (Updated)

I felt comfortable and safe, something so foreign to me. For once I actually wanted to sleep in, which was something rare considering I'm pretty sure I sorta have a form of insomnia.

I still hadn't actually opened my eyes, because for one I was just to lazy to wake up and I was reluctant to pull away from whatever this comfortable place was. I knew the moment I fully woke up I'd have to get up. I nuzzled into the source of the warm with a small sigh of content and a slight smile.

Finally I decided to open my eyes, and with a yawn I looked around as I sat up and stretched. I nearly jumped out of my skin seeing Sideswipe, his gaze on me. Go figure he'd be the source of comfort for me.

I stiffened when Sideswipe gently brushed my hair from my face.

"Good morning, I hope you had a nice recharge." I could tell him being this soft was a new concept for him, but he also did it so well. Too fucking well in my opinion.

His optics glowed with unknown emotion and I looked down.

"Yeah, it was good." I kept my response simple

I stretched and decided to act nonchalant.

"Well, I'm going to go out for a bit." I say without room to really allow him to say otherwise because I left so quickly all he could do was watch me go.

I felt like such a coward, but I needed time, maybe once I can feel I can rely on him, I can fully open myself up to him and share more of my past with him.

For now though, I needed a drink and some time to myself. Walking around base I locate Breakdown and have him drop me off in town, but not before I forced him to make me an ID card that showed I was 'twenty-one.'

He gave me a lecture on drinking responsibly and not leaving with any strangers, male or female, before driving away hesitantly after making sure i had I proper way of getting in contact with anyone at base.

I knew I picked the right con to take me.

With a fake grin on my face I walk down the streets looking for a bar or club that looked to be in good shape, I don't want to go to a crappy one, crappy bars guaranteed more crappy people and I'm not in the mood to fight.

I probably spent an hour looking at different bars around the place, trying to decide which one would be the best to go to. I wanted to go to a place that had upbeat music and other cool things, so that narrowed down 2 bars in this area I could pick from.

Finally I decided to go to the one on main street, Midnight Paradise was what it was called, and once I made it in, I was very pleased I chose this bar.

It was very calm and chill, there was a very hipster vibe I was reading from this place. There were soft lights illuminating the building. The floor was concrete but there were colorful rugs resting in areas where a few leather couches rested. There were paper lanterned scattered everywhere of different colors and different artwork. There was a kitchen that was open so that customers could watch stuff being cooked. Further into the bar was the actual alcohol bar, were fancy looking stools lined along the wooden structure of the bar. Along one of the walls was a row of books and I could see other tables where people where people sat on their laptops or just charged their phones while mingling with other people.

For once I was lucky.

I sat at the bar drinking a rather weak alcoholic beverage, it wasn't strong enough to get me drunk, just enough to make me feel is affects. Which of course if I drank large amounts I would get drunk, but my goal wasn't to get drunk, I just wanted to cool down and think.

It would me possible for me to develop feelings for Sideswipe, I'm sure I already have, but they were weak if I did. Its not like falling in love is impossible for me, in fact if someone broke my barriers it would be ridiculously easy for them. I'm so weak emotionally when I'm trusting of someone, and I trust Sideswipe, so if he kept pursing me it would only be a matter of time before he had me snared by the heart. That terrified me.