Shattered Illusions (ON HOLD)

Chapter 7 (Updated)

When Sideswipe and I make it back to the Nemesis, the base was practically empty, minus the medics and mechs who stayed back to defend the base should there be an invasion of the base.

Sideswipe takes me to his quarters and sets me down on my bed before leaving without a word. I only sigh before laying down after kicking off my shoes. My body ached and so did my heart. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. I groaned softly to myself as I cover myself in a sheet and close my eyes, immediately I fall into a deep nightmare ridden sleep.

The little girl once again, is giggling happily to herself as her parents smile close by. When the knock on the door comes, the scene becomes different. Red optics glow from outside the window, before something crashes down into the house. A black and purple mech stares down at the terrified family, before his optics gleam evilly. He points a blaster at the girls parents.

As he does this the little girl cries out.

"STOP IT! Please stop! Optimus please! Don't do this! Your my hero!"

"So weak, so pathetic!" A baritone voice cackles.

Then he pulls the trigger.

"STOP!" I fly up from where I'm laying with a scream.

My body begins to tremble, and I look to my hands with wide fearful eyes. Fear and sorrow, along with the feeling of being lost fills me, wanting so badly to escape. With little whimpers I rock back and forth, trembling with wide purple eyes, clutching my head.

"Only a dream, only a dream"

"Karly?"

I look up only to see Sideswipe staring down at me, his wounds welded and tended to, he didn't look as bad as he did, and that for some reason relieved me.

"What?" I reply.

He was silent a long moment before  finally he spoke.

"Do you wish to talk about it?"He questioned softly, surprising me.

I pause.

"Talk about what?" I question and he shrugs.

"Anything you wish. Maybe starting with what you were dreaming about." He said while getting closer to my level by sitting down on the ground.

I don't know why, but I began to tell him my dream, every little detail about it, and when I'm finished Sideswipe is silent, unsure how to respond to what I told him.

After a long moment of silence I speak up.

"I know you probably won't, but if I show you something, will you keep it between us?" I question hesitantly, looking at him with questioning eyes.

He nods.

"You have my word."

Nervously I peel off my shirt, Sideswipe's face remains neutral, yet his optics looked over my body calculatingly, looking at the small scars I had here and there on my front. I watch with blazing cheeks as his optics scan over me a bit longer before settling on my face. Continuing, I turn my back towards him, showing him the huge scar, and little scars littering my back. I turn my head just in time to see his optics widen then darken in color and brightness.

I cast my head down, before speaking.

"I've been abused by other since as long as I can remember. It didn't start until after my parents died, it started out with name calling, and such but soon began to progress. When I first started to get bullied it was over being an orphan, then people took notice of my strange eyes. I learned to deal with the insults, the glares and scornful looks, along with the pity filled eyes of the adults. However, soon the insults and looks turned to abuse, I began to get beaten for the amusement of other kids my age, sometimes it would be an adult. Once the abuse started I learned to cope with pain, all of the pain, physical and emotional.

By the time I was 14 I was so used to the pain, I didn't flinch or shout when I was punched or kicked. I found that the less I reacted the less likely they would continue. I......" I paused, realizing I was rambling and I clenched my jaw and frowned slightly.

"Long story short, I found myself being beaten by a group of delinquent teenagers. The leader snapped when he didn't get a reaction out of me. When he and his little gang were done, I was a bloody heap, I had learned later that I had broken all of my ribs, I had a punctured lung, a shattered wrist, and fractured skull, and the list goes on. I had thought they'd leave me alone after the assault, that they'd leave me in a puddle of my own blood, I was wrong. The lead kid took a knife out and carved into my back. I was lucky to live, had my foster-sister not come looking for me, I'd be ten feet under. I would have died if she had been any later." I murmur with a dark look casted over my features.

 I look over at Sideswipe, it felt as if a bit of weight had been lifted from my shoulders. He looked at me with an unreadable look, and I continued speaking.

"Yet even though everyone wanted to cause me so much pain and misery, I never truly fought back, I never laid a punch on them. Not because I was scared but because I felt I would not solve anything. Transformers had a lot to do with that, Optimus from the first time I saw him on the TV screen when I was only 7, I admired him, I wanted to be like him, I saw him as my hero, and was everything i wanted in a father figure. Everything I did I would always reflect: Is this what an Autobot would do? Most importantly would Optimus do this? Really, Optimus Prime is the only link I have left from my father, who was also a big transformers fan as a child. But now...." I let out a dark chuckle.

"I don't know what to believe in, everything that kept me grounded is being ripped at the seams. I feel so stupid that this gets to me so much, that I let some fucking fandom be so rooted into my life that it effects me like this. But its all I have left of my father, and now thats being slowly taken from me, just like everything else." I was close to crying at this point, I was shaking horribly.

Suddenly a pair of hands grabbed my cheeks and tilted my head up. My eyes met Sideswipe's and his gaze held mine fiercely.

"Believe in me, you don't know what to believe in, then believe in me. I am on the side of the good in all of your universes. Believe that I will protect you, that you'll be safe with me, that I will go through pit and back for your protection. Let me keep you grounded. Just believe in me." His tone held conviction to the words he was saying, and it made my heart skip a bit. After a long moment a soft and sincere smile forms on my face.

"Thank you Sideswipe, thank you so much." My smile was warm yet i could feel sadness still twirling in my chest. He nods in acknowledgement to my gratitude.

"Your protected here, even being here for such a short amount of time you have everyone wrapped around your finger, your not alone anymore, you have the Decepticons now." He said.

"Not alone anymore? Can I really believe that with out it being taken away?"