My Hero Academia Imagines

20 // Denki Kaminari // "Insecurities" (Series pt 3)

===== (Kaminari's P.O.V)

I held my head as I stared at the page in front of me,

"Why can't I fucking GET this?! " I slammed my hands down on the table,

"DAMMIT!" I swiped everything off of my desk. But I didn't stop there. I flipped the table and kicked at one of the legs,

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, fucking STUPID-" I collapsed on the ground and covered my face, sobbing. I was always aware that it took me longer to process some things, but it was getting really bad. My girlfriend, Y/N, was really smart and helped me all the time, but it was embarrassing. I wanted to be smart and strong for her, but sometimes I didn't understand things. Y/N was so great. She always helped me out when I didn't get something in class, came over all the time to be there in case I needed help on homework, and a bunch of other stuff. She's frickin amazing and I always feel too dumb to be with her. I cried harder and laid on the floor, curling up and sobbing. There was a knock on the door. I swiped at my nose,

"Go away!" Knocking again,

"Denki?!" I wiped at my eyes,

"What?!" Banging again,

"OPEN THE DOOR!" I scrambled to the door and stared at the floor as I let it open. Y/N stepped closer to me, gently cupping my face,

"Denki...?" She stroked my cheek. I sniffed and looked up. Her eyes were soft. She pushed my hair out of my face,

"Baby... Your eyeliner's all smudged..." She swiped under my eye. I felt a sob welling up, but I fought it,

"Stop fucking crying you bitch. How is she ever gonna love you? You can't be dumb AND a cry baby. She's gonna-" I lost it. I let my sob go and collapsed to the floor again. Y/N fell with me, pushing the door closed. She wrapped her arms around me and swayed gently as I cried into her shoulder. I just wanted her there. I wanted to know she wouldn't leave. She stroked my hair and rubbed my back to help me breathe. I heaved in a breath,

"Why- can't- I- be- SMARTER-" I sobbed again. I cried until I couldn't anymore. And she was there the whole time. I tucked my head deeper into her shoulder, sniffing and coughing. Y/N rubbed my back,

"It's okay, baby." I pulled away from her and caught a glimpse of her shoulder. There were streaks, smears, and splotches of black everywhere. I sniffed, touching it,

"I ruined your shirt." She looked at her shoulder,

"Oh." She grabbed my face and turned me towards her. I sniffed aggressively, trying not to cry again,

"I'm not good at anything-" I whimpered, almost starting to cry again. Y/N pulled me into her, kissing my forehead,

"Calm down, Denki." I took rapid, short breaths. She rubbed circles across my back to help me breathe again,

"You're doing so good, babe." My breathing returned to normal. She wiped my cheeks,

"Let's go wipe your eyeliner off, hm?" I nodded and followed her to the bathroom. She grabbed a package of makeup wipes and led me to the bed. I sat down and she straddled my lap, plucking a wipe from the pack. She started under my eyes, gently scrubbing at what was left of my eyeliner. She hummed quietly, folding the wipe over,

"You remember when you helped me study that one time? I was so lost on the section and you gave me your notes. What'd you get on that test?" I looked at her as she focused on wiping my face off,

"A- uh- a 95?" She nodded,

"Yeah." She let it fall silent and I just watched her. Admired how beautiful she was. Not even just on the outside. On the inside too. How amazing she was in everything she did. She tucked my hair behind my ears and smiled, pecking my lips before continuing to wipe my face. I sniffed,

"I'm still dumb though. I did good on one test. So what?" She met my eyes momentarily, continuing. She laid the wipe down and leaned her forehead against mine. I hugged her tight,

"And you're really smart and really pretty and I just want to give you the world. But I can't even do my homework. How am I supposed to be good enough for you?" She rubbed her thumbs over my cheeks ambiently, kissing my nose. She pulled away and smiled softly,

"Denki, you'll always be good enough. Just because it takes you a second to understand some things, doesn't mean you're dumb. You hear me?" I nodded,

"Yes." She pecked my lips,

"You're an amazing boyfriend. I'm not gonna leave you just because you don't test as well as you think you should be. Never, and I mean never, think that you're stupid because you don't understand something. Yes?" I nodded again. She pulled me in, squeezing me a little,

"I'm always here for you, Denki. I know just me talking isn't going to magically make your insecurities go away, but never think you're going through this alone, okay?" I nodded against her shoulder. She linked her hands around my back,

"You're perfect to me, Denki. I know that you want to be your best for me, but don't overwork it. Don't try too hard to change yourself. I don't think there's anything for you to change, but I understand. I know, babe. You don't want to go off of just my validation because you want to feel accomplished. But, know this..." She ran her hands through my hair,

"I want to be there for you. With you. Through everything. I want you to know that I'm gonna be here for whatever you need. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." In that moment, I truly felt it. I truly felt like this was forever. Like she didn't see me for my brain or my body. But that she was really there for me. And only me. With her rubbing my hair and holding me all warm like, especially after a meltdown, I was suddenly really tired. I pulled her onto the bed with me and snuggled into her chest. She scratched my back,

"Tired?" I nodded,

"...Sleepy..." I hugged her tighter. She traced shapes along my shoulder blades,

"M'kay, Denki."

=====