The King's Arrangement (BTS X Reader)

Chapter 20

YN:

As I sat there in the garden with Jungkook, my heart broke just a little more. I had never been in love before so knowing that the first man I ever loved shattered me.

"Why do you look so sad princess?" Jungkook asked, his eyes filled with worry.

I hesitated then patted his hand, feeling an electrifying feeling go through me at his touch. It was like something I had never felt before. "It's... it's nothing," I replied, looking down at the ground. "Just something I have to deal with."

Jungkook touched my chin, directing my gaze back to him. "I'm a really good listener," he said gently. "You can tell me anything."

I love you. I want to be with you. I want you to kiss me. I want you to do all those things to me that I've read about. That's what I wanted to say, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. Knowing his heart belonged to someone else, I would keep my feelings for him locked up. So instead I shook my head. "Thank you," I said. "But I will be alright."

Jungkook sighed but said nothing. We continued to walk around the garden for another half of an hour, making small talk. For that short time, I pretended he was mine. Pretended that he loved me like I loved him.

After our walk in the garden, Jungkook escorted me to the library for my daily meeting with Namjoon. As we approached the double doors, Jungkook stopped, placing a gentle hand against my cheek. "Please do not despair princess," he said, his voice husky. "Things are not always what they seem." He bowed once then hurried away, leaving me standing there stunned.

I pushed open the double doors and walked into the library, my mind filled with my conversation with Jungkook. I was so mystified by what he meant. What was not as it seemed? I dropped into a chair and picked up the book he had given me. Why did he choose this book? Was there a meaning behind it? I shook my head to clear the racing thoughts that had filled it. Calm down YN. It's just a book. It has no more hidden meaning than the ones Namjoon has chosen for you.

"Is everything alright YN?" a voice asked. I looked up to see Emira entering the library, pushing the tea trolley, her pretty eyes filled with concern. "You seemed to be lost in thought."

I nodded my head, but then sighed when Emira gave me the look. The look that said "don't lie to me." I hesitated then stood, pacing back and forth in frustration. "He confuses me so," I whined. "What does he mean when he says things aren't as they seem? What does that even mean?" I ran my hands through my hair, tugging on the ends in irritation.

"Ahh," Emira said, a smug smile on her face. "You must be referring to the handsome Jungkook."

I flopped back down into the chair, covering my face with my hands. "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this!" I blurted out. "I hate being married to a cheating husband even if he is a king. I hate seeing that wretched woman everyday even if I don't care what her relationship is with Soobin. I hate being in love with someone who will never love me." I couldn't stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks.

"Oh my dear friend," Emira said, dropping to her knees and gathering me in her arms. "It's going to be alright. I swear it to you."

"It's never going to be alright," I argued. "The man I love is in love with someone else. How can it be alright?" I didn't mean to lose my temper with Emira but I didn't see how she could say that things were going to be okay.

Emira pulled me closer, rubbing my back in a soothing manner. "Do you trust me? Have I ever let you down?" she asked. "I promise that it's going to be alright." She pulled back and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before standing and pouring us each a cup of tea.