The Story Doesn't End With the Book

Just get rid of grade eight

Maryn, May 2020

And they said we were going back to school on May fourth. Ha! Well, it's May fourth now, and I don't see any improvement. Some things are opening back up. Like my mom's clinic. Other things...haven't changed at all. 

I love how at the beginning of this, I was so hopeful and excited. I've kind of given up at this point. I've succumbed to drowning in books and nothingness. That sounds dramatic, but what am I supposed to say? I'm 'having a great time', 'still trying', 'loving the fact that I don't see anyone except for my family'. No. None of that is true, so what's the point of saying it?

I've memorized my ceiling pattern at this point. There's this little cluster of stucco bits, and I've been trying to see how many different things I can shape them into. So far, I've got a hippo, a firetruck, a water droplet, and a faceless person. 

Lara pokes her head in my room, "Maryn, do you ever do anything these days?"

I sigh, and sit up, wincing when the blood rushes to my head. "Of course I do. Just not right now. I need some time to myself, all right?" 

She looks at me skeptically. "Sure you do. Fine. Be a lazy teenager."

I roll my eyes. "No one's forcing you to come in here, Lara, so don't complain."

She leaves. 

This is how my days go, mostly. With occasional trips to the bathroom, to my desk, or to eat food. We've been watching tv a lot more than usual. We used to watch about once a week before, and now we're getting at least one show in every day (an improvement in my opinion). 

"I really want some cake." I say aloud to no one. 

"What?" Lara comes back into the room. Of course she was lurking there. Trying to figure out what I'm plotting in all the time I spend curled on my bed. Nothing. That's what, Lara. I'm not 'plotting'. I'm relaxing. Letting my thoughts wander. 

"Whatever." I hang upside down on my bed, and start making faces at myself in the mirror. 

"You know, you really should do something useful with your time." Lara reminds me, crossing her arms. "What happened to your rock collection?"

"You know," I say, mocking her tone, "You should really stop acting like my mom."

She glares at me, waiting for me to say something more profound.

I give in, "That rock collection was stupid."

"Uhh, I thought it was awesome. How many fourteen year olds collect rocks, take the time to shine them, and keep them on shelves, categorized by their density?" She smiles at me, and I'm reminded that once upon a time we used to get along a lot better. 

I smile back. "Ooh, did I have a secret admirer?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself. I'm just saying, it was cool, and honestly, you look like you need something to focus on. You're kind of...hanging between mediocrity and complete uselessness." She pats me on the head, and stalks out. 

"Hey! That was not fair. I'm perfectly useful!" I yell after her. Then I decide to do something spontaneous. I get up, and follow her. 

You may be wondering why this is a big deal. It's not, for most siblings. But I've taken it upon myself to never follow Lara around, like typical younger siblings. I don't think I've even been in her room for at least six months to a year.

"Lara wait!" I touch her arm tentatively, waiting to see if she'll push me away. "What are you up to?"

She turns around, a smile slowly appearing. "I'm going to do some online shopping...wanna join?"