Burnouts

Me and Your Girlfriend

Scene 1:  The Plaza Hotel

Ethan Carey

"You know, you're an asshole," I say aloud as soon as I step past the elevator doors.

"Good morning to you too," Trevor pours himself a cup of coffee.

"You hijacked my win because you weren't nominated."

"Well, you know that had to have been a mistake— I'm always nominated."

"Natalie said you lost points."

He smirks and looks down the hall toward his room. "Clearly not that many."

"Who's back there?"

"Hazel."

"Of course," I shake my head, "should've expected that."

"You know what I didn't expect?" He asks deviously, so I don't bother with a response. "She walked in here a virgin."

"I thought you were done with virgins."

"Yeah, well, one every here and there cleans the palate."

Hellfire, Trevor.

"You are a bad bad man."

"Hazel would disagree," he shrugs. "Why are you here? You didn't seem too upset about my little stunt. I'm sure you got some condoms out of it."

"I did."

"And you used one?"

"No."

Trevor furrows his eyebrows, "Did you...want Hazel?"

"Not my type."

"She's lovely."

"I don't want lovely."

"Okay, Goldilocks, what's your bowl of porridge?"

"Not too lovely, not too...Audrey. I'm starting to understand why I've never been able to settle down before."

"You were willing to settle with Alison before I got to her."

"Hardly— she's too gentle, I think I just felt bad."

"Do you have someone in mind then, Petruchio?"

"Do you remember Elizabeth?"

"Sexy snappy assistant?"

"That's the one."

He laughs arrogantly, "I knew you'd end up doing her."

"I haven't yet. We came close, but— I'm making her wait it out until she's so desperate she's unzipping my pants with her teeth."

"Carey, Carey, Carey," he shakes his head in amusement. "It makes me sick that I'm beginning to envy you. How the hell did that happen?"

"You fell in love with a high school girl."

"I never said I loved her."

"...right."

"Are you in love with Miss Elizabeth?"

"I can definitely stay interested in a woman like her, believe me," I sigh— I can still feel the stinging on my hand, oh, how my heart loves the pain.

The door opens behind us, and a woman walks in with Mr. Bailey.

"Trevor," he says when he sees us. "I didn't think you'd be awake this early."

"Oh, goody, you're back," Trevor rolls his eyes.

"I told you we'd be back today." Mr. Bailey sighs as he looks around, "I'm glad the house is clean, no thanks to you, I'm assuming. I'll have to pay Harry more for dealing with you."