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Chapter Forty-three

Monday morning comes around. I am not going to school since I have the appointment with Dr. Harris today. My mom insisted on coming with me, probably to make sure I don't just skip it, but I told her I wanted to go by myself. 

When I'm ready to go, I say bye to my mom and grab an apple from the fruit bowl. I'm not exactly hungry today. 

I drive to Dr. Harris' office listening to my favorite song on the radio. Four songs play before I reach my destination and I park nearby. When I go inside, the building feels slightly warmer, but it's cold in here. I walk to where the lady is at the front desk. She instantly recognizes me and offers me a smile. I smile back. 

"I'm back," I say trying to be humorous, but I fail miserably. 

"He's still in session with another patient. He will be done any time soon, so for now, you can sit down and wait," she tells me nicely. I nod and do as she suggests. 

I get my phone out and I notice I have a text from Niall. 

Good luck today with Dr. Harris. I hope it all goes good. I will be over at your place right after school. No practice today! love you. -Niall

I smile at the text. Maybe we can do something together. By the time I reply that I love him too and hope to see him later, the patient Dr. Harris is with comes out of his office. 

My jaw almost hits the floor when I see Sarah leaving his office with her eyes swollen. She looks panicked the minute she sees me and I want to ask her why she's here, but my thoughts are interrupted when Dr. Harris calls my name. 

She leaves the building quickly without taking a second look back. I stand up and walk inside Dr. Harris' office. He tells me to take a seat on the long reclining chair, and I do. He gathers his paperwork on his lap and takes a seat a few feet away from me on his leather black chair. 

"Nice to see you Clare," he smiles kindly.  

"Nice to see you too, Harris," I reply just as nice. I hope I don't sound off or something. I'm still thinking about Sarah and why the hell she might need to come to Dr. Harris. 

"Your mom has already told me a little about what is going on, but I'd like to hear it from you. Look into your own perspective. You can begin anywhere you wish." 

And so I begin. I tell him about everything I can. The smallest detail is brought up. I go all the way back to the slight problem with Niall and Tyler. I mention that my biological dad somehow found me and wants to be a part of my life. I tell him about how strange and angry I feel about everything. I mention my dad's cancer. I tell him about my nightmares being back and how sometimes it feels too real to me. I wonder out loud for the first time if it could be a sign. But then I let it go. 

He takes a few seconds to compose what he is about to tell me. Dr Harris has a serious straight face by the time I am finished. But then again, he usually does. He is taking last minute notes on his notepad and I wait patiently for him to direct any words to me. 

"I think we can both agree you've got yourself around a lot lately. And we both know that is never good, especially since you are so easily driven by your emotions."

I nod. He's right, I really am. 

"Now I know you don't want to go into any medications, but I am going to recommend something that I know you are not a big fan of. Exercise. That is the best way to get your mind off of things." 

I frown, "There has to be another way." 

He laughs, "Unless you want to suddenly take a trip to Paris and go on a shopping spree, I'm afraid not."