Bittersweet Tragedy | | Draco Malfoy

To Be Oblivated or Distracted

Again, for this chapter, italics will mean thoughts/flashbacks. This won't be a consistent thing, just for these few chapters. The thoughts/flashbacks in these are directly what the reader thinks about a certain flashback or something that they are thinking At the moment.  Also, a lot of Neville in this chapter!

UPDATE: I changed the time from November to October!

I still thought of him, despite my hardest attempts everything reminded me of him. The way the moonlight shone through my window, and how the ring on my finger was somehow the perfect size. Somehow, I had to forget him, even though I longed for the feeling of his hands on my waist. I knew he was forgetting me though, I no longer felt his stare, or the slam of the table every time I  had any physical contact with anyone else. Alas, no, the Draco I remembered and loved was gone.

I had to forget that Draco. No matter what that potion showed, he'd never love me the way I loved him, and that was the worst part.

People noticed, my anger was worse, I had no one to take that out on. We didn't even fight anymore, he and I, I don't think he nor I were mentally up to it. Even for that matter, I don't think Draco was up for anything. He still seemed like life was ripped out of him.

Somedays I wonder if I did that to him.

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Alas, after days and days of not knowing who I was, I finally became fed up with it. I was strong and I wouldn't let him break me. So I decided that while I wouldn't forget him I'd shove the thought of him and my feelings of him way down deep so I could no longer be hurt by him and his actions. He had hurt me so many times. I just wanted to-

"Y/N? You there?" The voice next to me said I turned quickly and back to Neville, I guess I had spaced out during our conversation.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Nev, what were you saying?" I smiled and turned the page of my book. It was early October now and the weather was just slightly cold, enough for a sweater. Neville and I were in the courtyard studying for herbology, well more like I was studying and he was hinting at the answers. He was telling me all about the whomping willow when I spaced out.

He smiled at me before looking down at his book "How would you describe the leaves of the whomping willow?" He asked before looking back up at me.

I smiled nervously "short?" I said and smiled. He squeezed the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb, he shook his head. I looked down sighing

"Close, Long and thin, it's a deciduous plant." He said, I sighed and wrote the fact down on my parchment. "Y/N? Wanna take a break?" He said, getting up as I nodded and held out his hand. I grabbed it and got up, after standing up we walked down to Hogsmeade.

"Y/N? What's up with you?" He said as we walked down the grassy path to Madam Puddifoots tea shop. "Nothing, I am good!" I smiled and shivered as a cold breeze hit us reminding me of a snow fight...I had with somebody that I used to know. Neville stop my remembrance by stepping in front of me

"Y/N don't lie to me." He said and stared into my eyes with his brown eyes. I stared at him for a second, trying to hold back my tears unfortunately that didn't work as he pulled me into a hug. I put my head on his shoulder and sobbed quietly.

"I'm sorry, I am trying to be strong. It's just everyone expects me to just be able to get over everything, and not feel the after-effects. I'm just...so tired Neville, it's been so stressful. I feel like I have to be strong for everyone and when I cry or show any emotion they get annoyed. I just want for someone to just...love me for who I am even if I'm not the perfect person they want me to be" I said, my voice getting shakier and shakier as I spoke longer.

Neville pulled away from the hug and wiped a tear from my cheek before I looked down at my feet "Y/N you are so strong, but that doesn't mean you always have to be. You're allowed to have emotions, and they're allowed to come out.  I love you Y/N, no matter what or even who you do"

I laughed lightly, looking up at him and smiling "Who I do?" I raised an eyebrow and he looked at me innocently "What that's what people do right? We are 16 Y/N"

My mouth gaped open as we started walking again "Have you done someone Neville?" I looked at him, waiting for an answer before I saw him flush, not from the harsh fall breeze. "Neville! You dog!" I said surprised

"Hey! I didn't say I did anything... besides it's not like you haven't done it" He said and opened the door to the familiar tea shop, I walked in and sat down. "For your information, Mr. Kiss and don't tell, I have not done anyone."

Neville's eyes widen as I ordered unspillable tea for me and him, he always got it because you know, it's Neville. I love him but boy is he an elephant in a tea shop, literally. "No way, excuse my language but you and Malfoy eye fuck each other all the time," He said in a lower whisper

"Neville! Shut up!" I said half laughing half-serious "Besides you hate Malfoy!" I whisper shouted, there wasn't anyone in the tea shop but we learned to be quiet in there.

"I know I know but come on, everyone can literally feel the sexual tension when you two fight!" He took another sip of his tea

"Neville, you are so lucky you're adorable because if anyone else said that, spilling the tea would've been the least of your worries." I smiled as his eyes widened in fear for a second

"One, thank you? Two, Miss Y/N, why don't you just kiss each other already? Literally, everyone can see you want to"

"Oh my precious Neville, do I have news for you"

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"Y/N! I did not need to know how he kissed you" He faked gagged as we walked out of the tea shop, while I clutched my stomach in laughter. "I do just have one last thing to say," He said, walking back to Hogwarts, but looking at me for a second and taking a deep breath.

"What is it, Nev?" I stopped and looked at him, my face full of confusion as I saw the worry on his face "I think...you two are really toxic, I mean Y/N'" He said seeing me looking at him "You guys hit each other, yell back and forward, and there's always something wrong"

I looked down before speaking "I know...I know but Neville. I love him, how do you stop loving Neville" I said taking deep breaths

"Honestly, you can't, but you can try to get them to the back of your mind. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him. Y/N I love you, and" He took a deep breath "I know he loves you too but I think that the both of you can't work out, at least for now. He lifted my head with his index finger

Just liked he did

"Y/N, I'm serious. I won't let you be hurt anymore and I know that look. I didn't know what it was for but now I know. It when you think of him...it's love" He said quietly

"I saw his eyes flash with...a new emotion, I couldn't tell what it was." That's what it was, in the bathroom last year. That was the emotion, he loved me. It's a shame then, that I have to do this

"Hold out your hand," I said to Neville, and he did so. I pulled a ring out of my pocket and put it in his hand, closing his fingers over it. "I loved this ring, possibly as much as I loved him, but you're right Neville, I need to not just forget him, but erase him from my life."

It's just a ring, why does it hurt so much?

"Y/N? Thank you, but I won't throw this away. To be one hundred percent honest maybe Malfoy can change." He pocketed it and we walked back together, we talked but it was only small talk. I had just been told I had to erase my childhood best friend and...boyfriend...still not sure what we were but I was told to erase him from my life.

They say to forgive and forget but why should I have to forget him. Why did no one tell me love was so hard.

Though the question that rang through my mind was...

What was so bad that happened or maybe happening that was doing this to him.

And...how could I stop it...?

Word Count: 1530