Knocked Up II. [Harry Styles]

Chapter 23

A week later

Feels strange to say it, but I'm used to my life once again. The doctors signed my release papers five days ago and I had the chance to re-learn how was my life. Little by little I have come to terms with me being a mom, I enjoy it. It's tiring though. Just imagine waking up and being a mom of two babies out of a sudden, it's a hell of a ride.

Jack behaves so well, I don't think he understands what is happening around him. Still, he just wanders around the house playing. He's an angel. With Ivy, it feels as if I'm learning to be a first time mom. From changing a diaper to making a bottle for her, putting her to sleep and waking up in the middle of the night for her. Being a mom its a tiring job but I have to say, it's beautiful.

Each day Harry tells me things of my past. He is making a board in our living room with pictures and places we have visited, so its easier for me to remember. There's pictures of me and Jack, pictures with him. Some things that he tells me sound like good memories, but there's one in particular that broke me. He told me that my dad died, my mom was with us that day. We both cried, I couldn't believe it. But there's nothing I can do about it, it happened long ago now. I'm still sad, to know that my dad is not around anymore.

I learned that I named our baby after him. So, I do have something that reminds me of him with me every day. 

Also, there's still no signs of having the chance of recovering my memory. I see the pictures and it feels like someone else is in them, not me. I'm getting used to the feeling. I'm forcing myself to think that that's me, period. I have to keep on living.

Right now, he is showing me footage of his tours and the process of recording his songs. I actually like their music, it makes you feel good, young and carefree. Some of them make you want to start dancing.

Instead of being focused on what he's showing me, I'm focused on him being all excited about this. He looks very proud of what he has accomplished, and I have to say, he is very talented. But not only as a musician, as a father, too. As my partner, also.

This whole week with him has been something I hope I never forget. For me, it was weird to come to a house that I don't really know, to be living with a boyfriend that I don't really know. He understood when I told him that I wanted my own space, and with that I mean, my own bed. He wakes up everyday with the purpose of helping me. He makes a lot of effort so I can be comfortable around the house. I think that he is trying to help me, little by little, grow feelings for him again, even if that's not the main reason he's doing this for.

But deep down, I have. Each time I look at him, I feel butterflies in my stomach. Each time I look at him playing with Jack or holding Ivy, I feel something, I'm still not sure what it is yet but it's something. By looking at him I know why I fell in love with him in the past.

I think love is a very strong feeling that is not easily forgotten. It can help you get through anything. I think it's our case.

And since I have been living in my own space, that means, we haven't kissed, yet. He has been so respectful of my space. But... I have thought about it. 

Sometimes I just stare at his lips while he tells me a story, and I get lost. Sometimes I get lost in his eyes instead. Or his hands, the way he always move them while he speaks. And he always touches his lips. Always.

I don't remember what falling in love feels like, but this could be it. Hell, I do feel butterflies when I look at him.

"This video, this is from San Siro, in Italy." He tells me, glancing at me and turning his eyes back to the screen. "It's of course edited, we did a two night show to make this movie. Do you want to watch the whole thing?"