My Insecurities

Insecurities ( an One Direction fanfic)

My name is Lynn.

Honestly, I really don't like how I look. I don't really ever feel pretty, i dont even remember what it feels like to be pretty. It feels like I have plain dark hair with some natural waves.. I hated it.

I normally covered my face in make-up... Well coverup. But I never put too much on. It felt just right when I covered up my blemishes. It felt like I had a 100 on my face... I actually only had a few, but there was just a nasty feeling that builds up in my stomach and I get the urge to not make my pimples visible at all. I normally go for the nude lips look, and I brush my eyes with dark brown eyeliner and a bit of mascara. Again... I don't overdue my makeup, those Nutella-faced girls look ridiculous.

I had eyes that had a bright blue on the inside rim and the outside was compared with a very light hazel. I didn't like them though... They never sparkled like those other happy girls.

My body definitely wasn't the skinniest like all those other girls. I was curvy but not in a good way. I wasn't an athlete and I wasn't the type of person that could eat all they wanted and never gain weight. So I simply starve myself. No big deal. It's for the best.

I guess my clothes were all right, but they never looked right on me. For some reason I just always feel like my clothes look weird or something. I normally just throw it back into a beanie and put my glasses on.

I was insecure.

Despite all of my flaws (and we all know that I have plenty) there's one thing that always takes my pain away. I can simply pick up a paint brush and start to brush away. I actually took great pride in my paintings or sketches some were absolutely beautiful and whenever my mom or dad fight I can just run to my room and escape all the pain that I feel. I love it.

Of course, music always helps too. I'm not too much into all those boy bands, and Justin Beiber was okay too... But honestly, I was IN LOVE with One Direction. I've pretty much watched 2/3 of all of their videos on YouTube or their video diaries or something and they just amaze me. I feel bad for them though, they don't have any privacy, they do so much for all of their fans and it kills me to see all the hate that they get.. They deserve SOOO much more.

Back to reality... I'm a senior in high school and I go to Helena High. I hate school. It feels like everyone's watching my every move, waiting for me to fall... I am a klutz after all. I'm bullied on a daily basis, especially by Kristen Bell and her minions. I swear they look like high barbie dolls. I mean seriously, they all need to put some clothes on and realize that the football jocks will never notice any of them. Oh and by the way- yes, I am one of those girls that simply go to school, get good grades, and fall completely silent for the whole day- unless I'm with my best friend.

And yeah, I have a best friend; Alex. She's the total opposite of me, besides our personality. She has beautiful blonde flowing hair that shines whenever a light hits it and she was skinny... She played softball and volleyball, AND basketball.. She had straight up abs, man! She always there for me, we've been best friends since, hmm... Preschool? Oh and she didn't even have to wear makeup! Not a single blemish- I was jealous!

ANYWAYS- art class was pretty much the only class that I was in love with. The teacher, Mrs. Hall, inspired me so much you have no idea. She was seriously awesome and one time she got me out of class all day just to help her paint the halls with special designs!

"Well class, I have an AWESOME opportunity for some of you amazing painters!" She looked over and winked at me.

"As you all may know, we have a spring art contest every year, and to boost some of your art confidences... We have some... Guests... For one of you to spend a whole weekend with at the Kalahari Water Resort!" She was ecstatic, and I simply doodled away on my blank piece of paper...

I never really entered the art contests over the year because I didn't really think that my art was good enough, but my art has improved... And I gue-

My thoughts were cut off by her sharp enthusiastic words, and they literally made my heart stop for a second.

"And these guests... go by the names Louis, Harry, Liam, Zayn, and Niall." She smiled wildly and the girls in the room gasped.