My Insecurities

CHAPTA 2

One Direction. I have a chance to meet and have a blast with the One Direction. I was literally flipping out.. Mentally anyways, because of course I was to shy to say or do anything.

Mrs. Hall noticed my eyes widen really really big and looked over and laughed. She simply nodded her head and heard her mumble, "We've got a winner."

But I don't know. I knew that all the other girls in my class were pretty good but I never really payed attention to all of their paintings. And um yeah, there weren't really any guys in my class if you were wondering.

I was starting to lower my self of steem without even realizing it. Would I be able to win? Would there even be a competition? Should I do it? What would the boys think of me if I DID win? Wild they like me; or hate me?!?

No. I was going to enter that contest. And I was going to win. Wow... What a sudden boost of confidence, Lynn, nice.

That night I almost RAN home. Well, I was excited.. And my parents forgot to pick me up again. So, they were probably fighting or drinking. I've noticed they've kind of increased their alcohol intake... I just wanted them to be happy again.

But I tried not to think about it- I wanted some good inspiration for my painting!

"Okay, Lynn, just walk in with your head down, don't pay attention to them, you have work to do." I thought to myself.

I walked into my house and there stood my dad.

"You... You were spose' to be home an hour ago.. M-m-missy." He slurred his words, his eyes glazed, and he looked terrifying... He was never this mean when he's been drunk in the past.

"I, uh... Erm, well you were suppose to pi-." My words were interrupted by a clammy hand to the face and when I fell to the ground, a kick to my stomach.

I looked into the connected dining room where my mom was sitting at the table, bud light cans surrounding her. She smirked and a snort came from her nose, trying to cover the laugh.

My thoughts were going crazy. Why ... Why would they do this to me? I'm... I'm their daughter.

"NOW.. G-get up to yooouuuur room and ugh," he grunted "EW, look at your face... Wow, go put on some make up you ugly, trashy, no-g-good kiiid." His words felt like knives stabbing throughout my entire body. And I quickly scurried up the steps.

And so there was my inspiration.

I let it all out while I painted. I cried and cried and cried and cursed under my breath several times. I felt like my dads words were true. No, I KNEW my dads words were true.

And so my painting was finally done, and it was 3:30 a.m. But hey- who needs sleep? The project was due in the morning anyways.

My painting was a girl facing towards the front with long brown hair with some blonde highlights that fit and mixed in perfectly. She had her hands covering most of her face and you could see most of her eyes. They were smudged with make-up and had tears streaming out onto her perfectly tanned skin. She had a few moles on her face that made her look unique in a way. She had a flowy mint, see-through top on and it matched her skin well, making her eyes pop. It was a grey-ish backdrop and it had the words written in a lovely font: "What did I do to deserve this?"

I have to say- it wasn't a beauty scene- but it was my very best paintings I have ever made. And this was a rather large canvas. It wasn't a normal one you could just buy at Walmart- but it was suppose to be this size.

I got to school a tad bit late because it was really hard transporting my painting so I had to run to the store and buy extra large trash bags to cover it- due to the rain. And luckily, I made it to the school safe with it.

I walked in and there they were. THERE. THEY. WE'RE.

ONE DIRECTION. Okay so I was mentally fan girling.. But didn't show it on the outside. But one direction. Was standing in my freaking art class room.. Someone wanna pinch me please?!?!

I walked into the room making only glances at the perfect boys that were talking to my art teacher and they didn't make a single notion to any of the other girls... Um, that kind of surprised me.

I walked over to the pile that was made for all the entrees and gently put my painting in it and walked over to my designated table to sit alone. I sat there doodling when I looked down and saw a pair of Toms that decided to waddle up to me.

"ELLO LOVE, IM LOUIIIIIISSS!" He held his hand out to me and I paused for a moment. Did THE Louis Tomlinson just walk up and introduce himself to me? He seemed to be looking at me, my outfit, my hair... OH MY HAIR! I quickly swatted at it and tried to lay it flat as it should be. I then smirked and held out my hand to shake it when he suddenly grabbed ahold of my short body and bear-hugged me. And may I just say- butterflies were going CRAZY.

I giggled when he put me down and a sudden burst of eagerness crawled out of my mouth.

"And I'm Lynn Jackson!" I said with a smile.

"Nice to meet ya, Lynn! Are you one of the art entrees?!?"

"Y-yes," I stammered

He leaned up close to me and I could smell his fresh, fruity breath.

"Between me and you, I hope you win... These girls all look like sluts."

He leaned back, smiled, winked, and did a wave thing to the guys to motion them over here to meet me... My heart felt as if my chest was going to spray confetti at any moment when they waltzed their way over here... But I couldn't help but notice Niall's eyes looking me up and down. He smirked.

"I'm Harry." He said, smirked, and gave me a wink, and I couldn't help but think of the Pepsi commercial.

"I'm Zayn, VAS' HAPPENIN ?!" He smiled and I smiled back, but staying quiet.

"I'm Liam." He smiled. His voice was deep, it made me feel like I was in a dream.

"And I'm Niall." He cheesed shyly, and I couldn't help but notice him the most. His electrifying blue eyes got me and I kind of got lost in them until Louis waved a hand in my face. I felt a deep burning that crawled up my cheeks... I blushed way too easily by the way.

"Um, nice to meet you guys. I'm actually quite a fan." I looked away refusing any eye contact and I blushed... Well I guess I could say that I'm being confident and not at the same time?

They chuckled and Louis took to fingers to put under my chin and lift my face to look at him while I glanced away.

"Mind of we sit at your table, love?" A blush crept across my cheeks and I could see all of the other boys squint their eyes at Louis... Especially Niall, I could actually see red in his face a bit.

"N-no not at all!" I tried to pull off my awkwardness and smile at the boys. Why do u have too be so weird?!?!

They each did a little giggle and quickly sat down, but had a little bit of a battle on who has the closest seat to me... Why can't they see that Im definitely not worth it, at all. Nah, I doubt they like me anyways! They just feel bad that Im the "lonely kid"...