Her Portrait Is Black and White

Confession

Confession.

Bette pulled the car into the drive watching as the gates closed behind her in the rear-view mirror. She had driven home in silence. Her mind had been racing. she knew she had made a massive mistake and now she was willing to take that. She had to be open and honest with her wife. The kiss had shown her one thing. Her feelings for Tina were everything to her. She took a deep breath and ran her finger through her hair. She knew she was stressed and she'd let her guard down.
Bette picked up her purse and briefcase and headed into the house. She could smell Tina's home cooked food, the moment she opened the door and she smiled sadly when she saw her wife moving around the kitchen. She was wearing baggy cargos and a tank top, she looked perfect, Her blonde hair was tied back at the nap of her neck and she looked younger than her 30 years.
Bette removed her jacket and dropped her purse and briefcase onto the chair near the front door.
​"Hey babe," Tina said as she eats some raw veg which she had cut up.
​"Hi," Bette's voice shook, the guilt of what had happened hours ago was already eating away at her.
​"What's the matter?" Tina said at once,"
​"Can you come into the living room, please." Bette added the please. The last thing she wanted was Tina to get angry in the kitchen.
​"Sure," Tina turned the cooker off and walked into the living room and took in her wife, she could read her well and knew at once something was wrong. "What is it B?"
​"Erm, you're going to get angry; you're going to be mad at me and it's justified but before I tell you I want you to know I love you,"
​"You're scaring me B." Tina stood behind the armchair she loved to curl up in.
​"Just remember I love you,"
​"I love you too," Tina whispered.
​"Erm, well today you know we had the construction crew in. The head of the team is a woman called Candice Jewel. She was flirty, I did not join in. She districted me."
​"You were distracted when I called you early."
​"I was and I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry for so much."
​"What are you trying to tell me B?"
​"At the end of the day, I was closing the gallery she was finishing up alone. We were talking and she got in my personal space and she kissed me." Bette spoke the last bit quickly.
Tina went pale. She didn't know how to react, was she supposed to scream and shout. Was she supposed to throw something? She felt like her heart was being ripped out.
Bette watched as Tina looked down at her wedding ring and then back up at Bette.
​"Did you kiss her back?" Tina asked, her voice
​"For a moment, but I wasn't myself. It meant nothing."  Bette stepped forward
Tina just looked at her.
​"Why did you let her kiss you?"
​"I don't know, I really don't I didn't mean for any of this to happen, it was sudden. I didn't want it. I mean I want you, us, this." She pointed to the house. "Our love and our family is everything to me. You're the love of my life Ti,"
Tina nodded, as slow tears ran down her face.
​"Is it my fault?" Tina asked slowly.
​"What?" Bette frowned.
​"Have I done this? Has me being ill and being self-centred led to this."
​"You're not self-centred Ti, it was a moment of weakness on my part and its happened and I'm sorry."
Tina nodded.
​"Erm, your dinner just needs heating up, I'm going to sit with Xavier."  Tina walked past her wife and went upstairs.
Bette watched her go, knowing she would needs a little bit of time. She decided to give her that time.

****

Bette gave Tina some time, she had expected Tina to scream and shout but instead her wife had blamed herself. Bette felt more guilt that, that had been Tina's first thought. She eat the dinner that Tina had prepared for her and head upstairs. She went into Xavier's room and he was sleeping soundly. She kissed the top of her sons head and then went into the bed and found Tina sat looking out onto the mountains at the back of the house, watching the stars over them as the night was clear.
Bette walked over and sat with Tina and looked at her, she could see that she had been crying and it broke her heart that she had caused this pain.
​"Thank you for dinner," Bette whispered
​"Pleasure," Tina said, she slowly looked at her wife.
Tina took in her wife, she loved this woman, more than she ever thought possible.
​"Talk to me," Bette said, "We cannot go to bed angry and the last thing I want to do is lose you."
​"I don't want to lose you, but you kissed her."
​"I didn't mean too, or for any of this. You're my world."
​"Did kissing another woman make you realise that?"
​"I've known for four years that you're my world Ti, I mean it. We've been through a lot and I've been an idiot. I shouldn't have let her get that close. I should have stepped back I should have done so much. But I'm weak and a fool."
​"You're not an idiot. A bit of a fool but never an idiot B." Tina wiped her tears away. "Did...did it mean anything to you?"
​"No, nothing. It just made me more certain that before that you're the love of my life. That You're the person I see my forever with. I'm weak."
​"Stop calling yourself weak, you were weak in a moment." Tina said, her voice stronger than it had been all night. "I have some questions; I want honest answers."
​"Okay,"
​"Are you attracted to her?"
​"I checked her out, but she's like the women from my past."
​"You're one night stands?"
​"Yes,"
​"but you haven't really answered my question,"
​"No, I'm not really attracted to her, I just let my mind wonder."  Bette said honestly.
​"Thank you, did you feel anything at all when she kissed you?"
​"No, I don't even know why I kissed her back, I just reacted." Bette confessed.
Tina was silent. She took a deep breath.
​"We both have to try harder. Make time for us, we have a sick son, who is doing remarkable. You have a fucked up wife who has good days and bad days. We need us time. Alone time. I can't lose you Bette. You're my everything and the last thing I want is to wake up alone and a single mom."
​"I'm here for you, I love you Ti, I mean that. You're my world."
​"I would like you to stay away from the gallery until the work is finished. I know you can't fire her, I don't' want you alone with her."
​"I can do that."
​"I'm coming with you to the opening." Tina said strongly, normally she wouldn't go to an opening. "Because I'm guessing she will be there and I'm staking my claim to you. Finally. B thank you."
​"You are thanking me?" Bette asked confused
​"You didn't have to tell me. You could have kept this to yourself. You could have let it fester and it would have pulled us apart. I'm grateful that you told me. I really love you B. I mean this. I've had a terrible time in my life and my mental health is stable at the moment but you're the light in my life. You and that awesome little boy of ours. We can move forward but we have to talk, love and be together."
​"I agree to all of that I do." Bette reached out and took her wife's hand, finally touching her. Tina curled her fingers around Bette's.
Bette felt something she only felt with Tina, her heart beating that little bit faster, her body reacting the touch of a woman she loved completely.
Tina moved forward and gently ran her fingers down Bette's face.
​"I don't deserve you," Bette whispered
​"I could say the same thing B, fuck. I love you. I need you." Tina moved forward and captured her wife's lips in a slow passionate kiss.
Bette felt alive suddenly, pulling Tina onto her lap. She needed that closeness. She couldn't believe it. This felt right, this felt like everything she had always wanted. This was the woman for her. In this moment Bette knew the kiss early meant nothing!