Her Portrait Is Black and White

Saturday

Tina opened her eyes when she felt Bette get back into bed beside her, she rolled over and smiled when she saw Bette holding Xavier and a bottle.

"Hey, little man mommy is awake do you want her too feed you?" Bette used her baby voice and Xavier was following his mother's voice.

"I would love too," Tina said sitting up and making herself comfortable in her pillows.

Bette slowly moved Xavier over to Tina and once he was settled, she passed Tina the bottle. Tina smiled down at him.

"What would you like for breakfast?" Bette asked,

"Anything is fine," Tina responded. She was lost in watching her son feeding.

Bette took them in, she picked up her cell phone and decided to take a couple of photos. Sending one to Kit, who had been a great support to Bette emotionally she had been very reliant on her sister.

"Pancakes and fruit?" Bette asked, as she slowly got up again.

"You don't have to spoil me," Tina replied as moved Xavier to wind him.

"I'm not spoiling you, I'm making you breakfast babe," 

Tina looked at her and smiled softly,

"Thank you, B, really." Tina smiled.

Bette lent over and kissed her wife's forehead.

"If I was spoiling you it wouldn't be pancakes and you know it," Bette winked as she walked out of the room making Tina blush slightly.

Tina finished feeding Xavier, she then got up and took him to get dress. Dressing him in a cute shirt and jeans. She sat him in his bonce chair while she got dressed. Putting on cargo pants and a long-sleeved tee-shirt. Tina made her way downstairs putting Xavier into his play area, where he started to try and grip his toy keys. Tina stood watching him.

"He looks good," Bette said,

"I thought I'd dress him,"

"Like his mommy he looks good,"

Tina smiled at her wife's words before sitting down at the table next to the play area. Bette moved around the kitchen. Tina noticed the mail, and picked up the one from the family counts,

"What's this?" She held up the open envelope.

"Agh that came yesterday, it's me formally adopting Xavier."

"Your name is on his birth certificate," Tina said slowly, smiling at the piece of paper she pulled out.

"Yeah it is, I'm formally and legally his other parent." Bette grinned as she served up their breakfast.

"I love you," Tina said suddenly,

Bette stopped for a moment and grinned. She was a little taken back.

"I love you too," Bette said softly as she put the plate of food in front of her. Bette lent down and kissed Tina's lips, it was a brief kiss but filled with love.

"Babe," Tina said softly.

"Mmm,"

"Would our friends be offended if we cancel tomorrow?" Tina said softly, like she was scared to speak the words out loud.

Bette looked at her wife and smiled softly,

"You're not ready, are you?" Bette understand at once that Tina wasn't ready for it.

"No, I'm sorry, I feel like I'm letting people down, but I can't do this Bette. I know we are at home, but..."

"Its fine, honestly. We can still grill some steaks and have a nice meal, perhaps get the girls on facetime instead?" Bette said slowly.

"Yeah," Tina smiled, "I'd like to see them but..."

"You're not ready for a house full of people?" Bette grinned,

"You know me very well,"

"I should hope I married you," Bette grinned. "We can have a zoom party. I'll set it up all,"

"Thank you, baby," Tina reached out and took her wife's hand and gently kissed her fingers.

***

Bette opened the front door and smiled at Shane, who was stood there with four gift bags.

"Shane," Bette was shocked to see her,

"Well we can't all come tomorrow so I thought I'd become santa and bring Tina's gifts."

"You guys didn't have too,"

"Yeah well we did." Shane smiled.

"Come in Shane, Tina is just talking to Jackie."

"Jackie?" Shane asked, as she followed Bette into the kitchen and put the gift bags onto the island.

"She's Xavier's chef nurse. She is explaining some of the things that the nursing team do for him and putting her mind at risk. She freaked a little about having strangers in the house." Bette said as she flicked the button on the coffee machine.

"Freaked out?"

"Not like that. She just doesn't want strangers in the house. You know,"

"I do, is she okay?"

"Yeah, I think having people around at the moment is too much. She's starting to be more open."

"Could it be that Alice wanted to bring Nat?" Shane asked

"Nah, I think she just wants a quiet birthday, plus I can set up the zoom call and we can all have a chat and laugh and if she's overwhelmed, she can leave the call at any time."

"True, how are you?" Shane asked, looking at her oldest friend.

"I'm doing okay, had a little panic in the night,"

"Why?"

"I woke and she wasn't beside me."

"You thought she'd gone again?" Shane asked knowing full well that had been running through her friend's head.

"Yes, and she knew it too. We talked about it."

"Where was she?"

"Xavier had woken in the night and she'd heard him. She got up changed his diaper and had fallen asleep with him in the rocking chair in his room."

Shane smiled.

"I bet that was an image."

"It was.," Bette smiled. "We talked. It's really important to me that she talks to me."

"And she is doing,"

"Hi Shane,"

Shane and Bette turned as Tina came into the room with Xavier in his baby carrier which was strapped to her chest. His tiny hands fisted around her fingers.

"Hey Tina, hey little dude, look at you with your mommy."

"He does look comfortable there." Bette grinned as she spoke.

"He is, how are you Shane?"

"I'm good I was just dropping your presents off from Me, Al, Helena and Dana."

"That's really nice of you all,"

"It's not every week you turn 30 now is it?" Shane smiled.

"I'm sorry for..." Tina started, but Shane held her hand up.

"No its fine, honestly I get it, spend the day with your wife and son. Enjoy your birthday. We can have a zoom call and do things at your pace."

Tina smiled know that their friend was right she loved that she had so many understanding people in her life. She knew she had a lot of work to do and she knew that the hills she had to climb she was ready to do this. She felt like she could do this. For the first time, she felt positive.