Pretend- Jaywon ff [Book 1]

24

"Jungwon let's break up"

"What why?! Ni-ki I really like you" Jungwon cried desperately.

"Jungwon cut the crap. We both know you love Jay. How long are you gonna pretend you like me huh? I'm not some toy Jungwon. I tried to be the best boyfriend I can but you shut me out. You don't see me like you used to" 

Ni-ki tried his best to keep his tears from falling. To Jungwon it may seem Ni-ki doesn't care or he has given up on them but Ni-ki fought battles with his heart. 

Countless times he convinced himself Jungwon would eventually love him back but that was the most ridiculous thing Ni-ki ever told himself.

Those three words 'let's break up' shattered Ni-ki's heart despite him being the one to say it. Every little crack until it was broken and destroyed.

"Ni-ki I'm sorry" Jungwon looked at his feet. He felt terrible. He tried telling himself he only loves Ni-ki but he always find himself running to Jay.

Platonic feelings that's all he thought was between him and Jay. Jungwon was given so many chances to realize his feelings for Jay but he denied them all.

"Jungwon we know each other for quite a while now and if I must say it's not your fault. You had  your reason you didn't want to admit your feelings for Jay and I respect that but you used my feelings to try to get over him" 

As much as Ni-ki doesn't want to say it Jungwon shouldn't play with others feelings.

"I know and I'm sorry" that's all Jungwon could say. He felt like a complete fool.

What did he expect after tonight? To come back and tell himself he doesn't love Jay after all that?

"Jungwon" Ni-ki pulled him into a hug "Playing with my feelings was wrong but I forgive you"

"B-but I h-hurt you" Jungwon cried in Ni-ki's chest "Hey hey no crying okay? I'm okay" Ni-ki lied "So don't be sad alright, I will move on someday..."

Jungwon broke the hug and wiped his tears but they continued flowing.

"Ni-ki I'm so sorry" Jungwon choked out.

"If you keep crying like that I won't be able to leave you" Ni-ki mumbles under his breath.

"Go and rest Jungwon we will see each other tomorrow okay?" Ni-ki patted his head going to his room.

Jungwon walked lifelessly to his room. He laughed a little at how the night changed so fast.

"Jungwonie?!" Heeseung sprinted from his bed "What's wrong?! why are your eyes so puffy? Did Jay hurt you? Did he make you cry?" Heeseung asked.

Jungwon sighed and explained everything with Jay from the beginning until tonight.

"Firstly I am offended you kept this from me but no one else knows so I'm okay now. Secondly, you shouldn't have used Ni-ki if you loved Jay no matter how much you deny it. Also I feel like it's my fault" Heeseung felt guilty.

"Hyung what?! It isn't your fault" 

"Yes it is I made you and Jay pretend boyfriends and now look what happened" Heeseung felt bad. This would have never happened if he didn't force Jungwon to do something he didn't want to.

"Hyung that's not your fault if I didn't want it I wouldn't have made that deal with Jay, trust me" Jungwon reassured Heeseung. 

"He's right babe" they both turned to see Sunghoon leaning againts the door.

"Were you there this whole time?" Heeseung asked slightly embarrassed Sunghoon saw him crying.

"From the moment I saw Jungwon walking in here with tears in his eyes" Sunghoon confirmed to Heeseung.

He walked over to where they sat on the bed and placed a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips.

"I love you and don't ever look down on yourself like that again okay?" Sunghoon stared into his eyes.

Their moment was interrupted my Jungwon sniffles.

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to disrupt you guys" Jungwon was full on crying. Tears soaking his favorite shirt.

"Come sleep in my room let's leave him to figure his feelings out" Sunghoon and Heeseung left bidding goodbye to Jungwon.

"Don't you share a room with Jay?" Heeseung asked. He wondered how three of them will be able to sleep in one room.

"Yes Jay will be sleeping  in Jungwon's room I texted him plus they need to sort their feelings out. Jungwon is not in a good place right now and he needs Jay with him" Sunghoon assured Heeseung.

.

Ni-ki closed the door to his room and threw himself on the bed crying his heart out. 

He just did what he planned to do all along. He broke up with Jungwon. He should be happy that Jungwon and Jay can finally be together. 

Call Ni-ki selfish but he wanted it to be him. Why couldn't Jungwon love him? why did it have to be Jay?

"Ni-ki?" Sunoo called groggily as he woke up from Ni-ki's cries.

Ni-ki didn't answer. Sunoo was about to get up and check on him when Ni-ki stopped him.

"Leave me alone. I don't want your pity right now" Ni-ki cried into his pillow.

"Did you and Jungwon have an argument?" Sunoo asked wanting to know the reason Ni-ki's acting this way.

"I SAID FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!" Ni-ki shouted at Sunoo. Luckily the walls were sound proof so no one would come barging in because of Ni-ki's loud scream.

Startled at Ni-ki harsh outburst Sunoo lay back down in his bed letting a tear fall from his eyes while Ni-ki continued crying.

.

Jake was in his room all day. He had a room for himself and thankfully no one came looking for him. He spent the day screaming, crying and shouting nonsense words.

Why did he not tell Sunghoon earlier before he left to Australia may be then they would be together. Just may be Sunghoon would have felt the same way he does.

True love is hard to find but what's hurts more is pretending like everything's fine when it's not. 

Jake never had time to find love with the thought that Sunghoon would return his feelings.

One thing he knows is that they can't go back to how they were just a few days ago. It's impossible for someone to be friends with someone they like especially when that someone knows of his feelings.

.

Jay stood outside Jungwon's room door listening to his cries. His pain. He wanted to go in there and hug Jungwon tell him how much he loves him and keep him in his arms forever.

But he can't. Too afraid Jungwon might just push him away. Sunghoon told him that Jungwon and Ni-ki broke up.

Jay thinks Jungwon is crying because he misses Ni-ki but little does Jay knew that's far from the reason behind Jungwon's tears right now.