Late-ter

21 4 2

by equilivebrium

by equilivebrium

Hi! This is a letter to you.
Whom I'm always sorry to.
I am sorry,
For all the times you felt lonely.

Because before the world could
   turn its back,
Before the rainbow in your life could
   turn black,
I already crumpled the canvas.
I abandoned you—like there was
   never an us.

Because instead of soft
   hands—you've got sharp claws,
Because I became aware of your
   countless flaws,
I resented you and became
   ashamed.
Before they could criticize you as a
   wild one, I've already made up my
   mind that you couldn't be tamed.

While you were drowning in your
   thoughts,
I'm sorry I let us sink before we
   could float.
I knew you best but when insults
   came—
And knew they were true, I couldn't
   muster my courage to defend
   your name.

I couldn't accept your darkest side
   and the things you did.
I forgot that you also had
   wounds—and I let you bleed.
I also thought you deserved all of
   those.
I also thought the world is better off
   without us—I was ready to lose.

So I am sorry for pushing you
   further down instead of lifting you
   up.
I'm sorry I waited for other's
   approval of our existence when I
   should've been the first one to
   clap.
Sorry for not seeing our scars as
   constellations in our own galaxy.
Sorry for not hoping for our own
   epiphany.

Soon, maybe I'll be stronger.
Maybe then, I could defend you
   better.
Soon, I won't wish for soft hands, I
   wouldn't have to fear my claws—I
   just have to learn how to retract
   them.
I'll claim it: a time will come where
   my flaws would be strength, and
   instead of a rock, I'll start
   perceiving myself as a gem.

Yet for now, forgive me—self.