Whispers of Silence

K-night's Throes

Blinded myself so I couldn't see:
How things aren't in the place that'd
   fill me with glee,
How most smiles are inauthentic,
And how lies in your care leaked.

Stitched my mouth so I couldn't
   speak:
That beneath this armour I'm weak,
That I want to beg you to stay and
   live,
Because I'm seeing that man
   underneath the shower of gifts
   and the radiance of smiles—is
   already giving us every kindness
   he could give before he leaves.

I spit out words I didn't mean and
   drastic acts that'd hurt you, so:
Maybe you'd tell me what's wrong
   and tell me there's something I
   could do.
I'm tired of getting my hopes
   crushed, but I can't lose another
   one to that thing—not again.
So tell me, how could we become
   that rainbow after your rain?

I heard silence, only the sound of
   breathing and gulps of
   alcohol.
Hence, I finally slit out my throat so
   once and for all:
No one would hear my sobs of
   agony, utterances of guilt and
   screams of resentment towards
   myself in the middle of the night,
On how instead of saving that
   individual who gave me his all, I
   abandoned and pushed him to
   his death—on how I couldn't save
   my dying knight.

A tooth for a tooth, hence a life for a
   life—
To end this strife.