I Will Always Fight For You

Sixteen

Before i knew it, it had been a week since i broke up with Chris. Jane was coming in today so i took the day off so it would just be us. I had thought about talking to Chris a lot but every time i thought about it the more and more i just wanted to punch him. I had been cheated on once before, in high school, and Chris was the main person to help me through it. He knew how much it hurt me, and yet he did it to me. 

He had laid off some and gave me some space. I had told everyone but he still hadn't come out on social media and told them. I am about ready to come out and say it myself. Chris gave me the password to his Twitter, so if he doesn't do it soon i will do it myself. I am tried of getting 'You and Chris make such a cute couple.' and 'Chris seems so happy with you. So cute.' People haven't stopped sending them. 

I told Scar a couple of days ago and she was just about ready to come up and smack some sense into him. But i told her off. As much as i would love to do it, he's still my best friend. And i still love him as much as i hate it. 

AFTER JANE SHOWED UP

Me and Jane walked in the door with a few bags of food because i needed to go to the store. We got pizza too for dinner. She said we are going to eat our feeling because her boyfriend broke up with once she got back to the states. 

"Alrighty then! Where's the tequila? I am going to make margartia's." She asked standing in the kitchen. "Tequila is in the cupboard above the fridge. But only make some for you. I'm good tonight." I tried to make it sound believable. Because i love her margartia's. "You okay? You never say no to any drink i make." She said trying to figure me out. "I just wouldn't like one tonight." I say. She gasped and smacked her hands over her mouth. "You're pregnant. You have to be." She said. "Surprise." I said with small jazz hands. I put both elbows on the counter and set my face in my hands and started crying. 

She walked over and pulled me into a hug. "Oh, honey. It's going to be okay." She said reassuring me. She pulled away and wiped my tears. "Have you told him?" She asked. "No. I was going to tell him in New York. I had just found out that morning, too. I realized my period was late. So i took three home tests and they came back positive and then i went to the doctors and they said i was, too. I don't know what to do." I told her in between sniffles and broke down crying after talking. "Are you going to tell him? And who else knows?" She questioned and wiped my tears again. "No one else knows. And yes at some point. I just don't want to fight over Guppie. I don't want the only reason we ever see each other is so we can fight over our kid. I mean... fuck! We hadn't even been together for a year and i'm was stupid and forgot to take a pill one week." I said trying to keep myself together. 

She told me that she will be here for me always even when she is on the other side of the country. 

Having her here for the week was very nice. We talked and i showed her around Boston. She got to meet my coworkers and she liked meeting them. 

I woke up this morning and went to get my stupid one cup of coffee of the day when i saw a letter close to the door. I walked over and picked it up. I grabbed my coffee and sat down on the couch so i could read it. 

Dear Allison,

I am going to give you your space. I can understand why you hate me right now, i would too. I am sorry for breaking you. I am sorry that we never had a real chance. 

But please i want you to at least know one thing. 

I have loved you since i was a teenager. I was so scared to admit it to myself and you because i didn't want to ruin what we had. When i got into acting and i had those girlfriends through my 20's, i was trying to get my mind away from you. Once i started getting bigger you were in the Army and it was so hard not having you by my side. But not one of those women were you. 

I understand why you can't see me. Just please know that i love you so much. I would love to be able to explain what happened, if you give me the chance. 

I will stay away from your apartment, work, and parents place. You are able to make whatever choice you want but please know that i will never stop loving you. 

Also, after dropping this off when i get home i am going to tell the internet that we aren't together. I don't want this to come back on you so i will say it was me. This is all on me anyway. If you want me to say anything just text me.

Love, Chris. 

P.S. If you ever want to see Dodger just let Scott know. He will bring him over anytime for you to see him. I can tell he misses you. I love you, Allison. Never forget that, please. For me.

After reading i couldn't help but cry. I don't know how the hell this is going to work. I heard my phone go off and it said i was tagged in a tweet. 

@ChrisEvans 
I wanted to come out and say it, even though this is the hardest thing i have had to do. Me and Ally broke up. And it was all my fault. I'm not going to say why we did because that is private. But it was on me. Please keep the hate to yourself. This has been very very hard on me too. @(Your@)

I can understand why he didn't want to say why we broke up, but i wasn't mad he didn't tell them. This will probably make it a lot easier with the press and everything, which i can understand. He already get mobbed a lot. This already isn't going to help. 

What the hell am i going to do?