Its Okay To Be Afraid ➳ Jasper Jordan

Chapter 8

I was beyond anxious and scared for Jasper by the moment, Clarke kept telling me to calm down, but that wouldn't work with me. The last time I has been told to calm down was when I was trying to get out of the guard's grasp when they were floating Carmonie. It never worked when you told me to calm down, especially when the only one that I now know I like is on the edge of death. I felt as if I was suffocating and trapped in a small box. I now paced outside of the dropship, waiting for Clarke come outside where we can go. I heard Clarke talking to Monty inside, telling him he couldn't go. I ran inside quickly, confronting Clarke. "Are we going now?" I asked, a hint of annoyance in my voice. Clarke gave me a apologetic look, which kinda shocked me. "Your not going, Jacklyn, sorry." This made me pretty much more angry than hell could be. "Yeah, that's funny, hell to that. I'm going." I responded, sending Clarke a sharp glance. "No, like I told Monty, your important. I know your smart too, so you can help him. I promise we will bring Jasper back." Clarke tried assuring me. "And who is we?" I came back, raising my eyebrows. Clarke huffed, ignoring me and turning to leave. "You. are. not. Going." She said over her shoulder, finally I caved in, sighing and walking over to stand beside Monty. Who also gave me an apologetic look, I knew he must be more worried, considering he and Jasper have been best friends for life, but with me, once I got attached to someone, I couldn't lose them, it's been that way with me ever since the Chancellor killed my family. And Japser had an effect on me, he gave me a feeling that sent warm sparks shooting through me, I liked him, and our conversation the night when I discovered the glowing mushrooms, I knew we weren't in exactly a relationship because I needed to know him more, but I liked him and I could tell he liked me. While I was thinking of this I realized that Finn and Clarke had left the dropship and that left me and Monty just standing there. "Are...we going to work on connecting to the Ark now....or..?" I said numbly, turning to Monty, knowing I had probably tried harder to go than he did, he gave me a humorous glance. "You were determined to go, weren't you? And yeah, we have to work on that I guess." He replied, humour and worry shining in his eyes, I liked Monty, he seemed to be the type that would be nice in any situation. "Yeah...I was." I frowned, narrowing my gaze to the ground. "You obviously like him...and he told me he likes you, but I do get Clarke, I am pretty amazing." I looked at him, laughing quietly, he gave me a sympathetic glance. "And I'm not amazing? How do you know I'm not?" I challenged, how I could feel good when I knew Jasper was still out there, I don't know, now it seemed that anyone who had been best friends with Jasper could make me smile on bad situations. "...Your awesome too, I mean. How many times are you gonna challenge Clarke....because that's what you seem to 've best at." Monty smiled, a small smile though. I shrugged, feeling the dark cloud come back over me. "Lets get to work on contacting."

Later, me and Monty sat in the upper room of the dropship, Trying to fix things that would maybe contact us to the Ark. "It would have been extremely boring if you hadn't been forced to stay and help me up here." Monty said, breaking the long silence that had been between us. "Yeah...." was all I said as a response, making Monty look at me with a indifferent look. "Jasper......He'll be okay." Monty tried, which made me feel even more dull. "Yeah....I hope so " then it went back to silence, Monty told me that he could do the part that he was working on by himself now, but since I knew Riley was busy working on the wall, and I had no clue where Octavia was I just stayed with Monty, watching him. We both raised our eyebrows in surprise when Octavia appeared, climbing out of the small opening to the part we were in, and turning around, still on her knees, looking at a guy that started to climb out of the hole too, but got dragged down by someone. I watched the encounter, giggling silently, Monty watched for a bit, smiled at me, shaking his head and then turned back to his work. I still watched, grinning. Octavia must have lovers. Then I saw Adam climb out, seeing Octavia eyes him humorously. "Nobodies bitch, huh?" She said, smirking. "Maybe one of these days he'll realize. He can't control me." She said, I assumed she was talking about Bellamy. Adam closed his eyes, looking down then back up at Octavia. "You know that guy, your with. Did you know he was a pre-murder." Adam said, I looked back at Monty, who had a grin on his face, I grinned too. "You know something funny, I'm actually protecting you from him." Added Adam, making Octavia give him a strange look. Then Adam climbed back out and closed the small door, locking it and making Octavia shout. I chuckled, quietly though. But a frown quickly ended that, when Jasper popped into my head again. Then Monty spoke up. Clearing his throat. "Wanna keep it down, I'm trying to concentrate here." He said, making Octavia spin around, looking at me and Monty in relief, running over to us. I sighed, not caring for Octavia being here too, but parts of me wished it were Jasper instead.

Monty then started talking about Jasper, making me feel worst. Octavia glanced at me, she sighed. Monty was also trying to get her wristband off where he could try and use it to contact the Ark. "He may not be my real brother, but he's always been there..." he said, I frowned, biting my lip. "We should be out there." He added, looking at me and Octavia. I nodded. But Octavia seemed unmoved. "Your not gonna cry are you?" She said, snickering. I chuckled, giving her a fake glare. "Shut up." Monty said while grinning. Then Monty took off Octavia's wristband when she said it was fine, but it didn't work, so of course we were now stuck with scavaging to find something else. After that fail, Adam let Octavia out, leaving me and Monty alone, both hot and impatiently waiting for Clarke and the others to come back with Jasper.