Nightmares (HP) (Drarry)

twelve: pity

It started out as pity.

Draco's eyes and mind became fixated on Harry's (Harry's, for to call a soul such as his Potter was becoming more and more below him by the day) bleeding hand. There's words carved there that he does not deserve. It is kicking a man while he's down to insult the boy who's hardly there in such a state, so Draco doesn't.

Harry reveals his nightmares, Draco's odd ability to remove them... and offers a truce. Draco accepts it out of pity, because to add nightmares onto Harry's ever growing pile of problems seemed low. (Low in a way he no longer wanted to be.) Draco could see the effects of the Blood Quill bleed (for lack of better word) into Harry's day to day behavior. Harry's new muddled path of life was blaringly obvious, and even more obviously pathetic.

Draco, at the time of accepting this truce, held no real care toward the boy.

It started that way but did not end it. Draco found himself writing to his mother to search the Manor library to find books on reversing the effects of a Blood Quill. He and Harry had a truce, yes, but it in no way explained why he was going out of his way to do this for the boy.

(The protest of 'pity' felt weaker and weaker by the day.)

And when Draco finds himself offering to help with Harry's schoolwork (he'd been falling behind... for obvious reasons, really,) Draco is even more mystified at his behavior. It is not normal for Draco Malfoy to feel anything even close to fond of Harry Potter-- that is what he's instilled in himself, what has been instilled upon him. (And yet--)

When Draco stares at Harry during lunch and thinks to himself the words 'he's such a pretty boy,' the problem makes itself aware. He's... a little more than simply fond of Harry Potter. It is almost foolish to recognize it as a valid feeling-- they are on opposite sides of a war. Draco knows he will one day take the Dark Mark. Draco knows he will one day come to kill. He will grow to be no better than the insolent fool who murdered Potter's parents. Draco also knows Harry will one day come to fight the final battle of a war he did not start. Draco knows Harry might one day come to be on the opposite end of his wand.

Draco's feelings are not fair. They are not rational. There is a world in the balance of threatening to change and there is no room for fickle feelings (no matter how much the recipient night deserve them.)

But if Draco's learned anything (and he's learned lots,) it's that feelings are impossible. They think themselves above context and in a lot of ways are such. They are controlling, all consuming, overwhelming in sometimes devasting ways. They do not care for rationality.

Draco's truce with Harry started out as pity...

... But it did not end with it.