One Shot Stories

At My Worst - Is it true?!

Yey!!! Ngayon na lang ulit ako nag-update😁😁 this is my second 'used-a-name-for-a-fiction-story'. Please support and read it!! Kamsahamnida~😜😜😜 Enjoy!!

Sorry for typos. Grammars and errors. Enjoy reading!!

Staring behind wheels. Imagining things that in the end will break me. And lastly, watching it painfully.

Before, I don't care if anyone leaves me behind. I don't care if they came back or not. If they come back, it's alright, but if they don't? Then so be it.

I have numerous encounters of this shit, but I can't bare it all at that time. I'm stiff outside but i'm about to lose it all inside. I fucking want to know why they all began to leave me behind! Am I not good enough? Am I that bad? What did I do to someone actually leave me and never came back?

With a stiff as a stone and a block of wood expression I enter my car. I'm not moving. Just staring motionlessly at my steering wheel. WHY?! That's the only word that run through my mind in that dead silent minutes.

My brain has a mind on its own commanding my head to look at the place where I see her leave and probably never came back.

Ever again ...

~~~

Snap. Tap. Bam.

Awfully noises that become my smooth lullaby melody. Hitting drums like this can erase all my questions and heartbreaks away, even if it's just an hour. Kahit sandale man lang mawala sa utak ko ang mga iyon. Kahit sandale lang.

"Are you gonna break that shit?" I heard from nowhere but I didn't heed a respond. "Thankfully your at the studio and nobody heard you breaking that set" he commented and I feel him sitting just across where I hit this beautiful drum set

I just closed my eyes the whole time and hitting as hard as I can to this set of drums ..

"What happened this time?" he asked in a long piece of silence

"Shit" I simply say and I know he knew it

I heard him laugh a bit. Yeah, dapat ganiyan ang ginagawa ko ang itawa lang, pero wala e. Hindi naman ako siya.

"What happened to your life bud? Why is everybody leaving you?" He asked in a curious manner and tone

"That's what I want to know.." I slowly descend my hand and stare lifelessly at the circle infront of me. "Gusto kong malaman kung ano bang nagawa ko at iniiwan na lang ako basta basta" i say as I put down the sticks i'm holding

"Did I do something wrong? Am I evil? Did I have a bad attittude? Am I not good enough? Am I that shit to leave behind like a stray animal?" I looked at him. "Can you tell what the fuck did I lack and every fucking person that I loved all leave me behind!"

Looking at his face I know he didn't knew either. I just sighed. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted from all this shit! I'm exhausted of my fucking life! I'm exhausted from everything!!

Padabog kong binitawan ang drumsticks mula sa kamay ko. Rinig ang padaskol na pagkakahulog nito sa buong studio.

"Where are you going?" tanong ni Kellin. "Are you leaving this mess behind?"

Huminto ako sa paglalakad at tiningnan mula sa balikat ko ang ilang drum sets na nasira ko ngayong araw. I shrug.

I looked at all the wrecked drum sets and turn my stare at Kellin. I wanted to say this phrase eversince.

"It's my turn to leave something nor someone behind" and then I closed the studio door and stealthily leave.

~~~