The Story Of Us

CHAPTER 10: The Ignorance (Part 1)

Going by the title, some might not like it but It seemed fitting for the tale ahead. Maybe this was the worst phase of my life.

Alizeh was ignoring me, and it stung. I had tried to reach out to her, to make things right, but she rebuffed me at every turn. It wasn't until the bitter end that she finally admitted what I already knew.

I wasn't the kind of guy who would keep chasing someone who didn't want me. I wasn't the type to go against anyone's wishes. If someone didn't want me in their life, they just had to say the word and I'd be gone. I didn't want to be a burden, to create an atmosphere of tension around someone who clearly didn't want me there.

But it hurt. It hurt to be ignored, to be shut out by someone who had been so important to me. I didn't want to be hurt over and over again. I just wanted honesty, even if it was painful. I had asked her to tell me if she didn't want me around, and she did. But the aftermath was messy, and there seemed to be no way to fix what had been broken.

As promised, I woke her up the next morning for college, and we decided to go to the lab together. As soon as I saw her, my mind was flooded with hundreds of questions, but I held myself back and didn't ask any of them. The night before, she had promised to say "I love you" to my face, but she didn't. It was awkward being with her that day. Something had changed, and her attitude towards me was different than before.

I felt helpless and clueless about what to do. Should I continue to invest myself in her, or was it time to take a step back and let me be on my own? These questions swirled in my mind as we sat together in the lab. But as they say, what is bound to happen will happen, no matter how hard you try. Maybe we weren't meant to be together.

In the lab that day, I asked her only two questions. The first was about what her mom had said, which was the same as the night before. But the second question was an icebreaker for me. I asked her, "If your feelings for me don't go away, will you come back to me?" She nodded and said, "Yes, I will". That answer meant everything to me at that moment. I didn't know how to react, so I just said, "Okay!"

I tried to change the atmosphere of tension and joked around for a bit. Whenever I joked around with her about her friend Divya, she would tell me, "Anybody but Divya. Ask me anything you want except Divya. She's mine." And I would tell her, "No, I don't want her. You just keep her with you always. We both know what I want." She would reply, "Yes, I know, and that's okay. You can want me, but not Divya." Maybe they were way too attached to each other, but I respected her for that.

As we joked around, I sent a follow request to Divya, just to tease her. We laughed and then left as the lab ended. But deep down, I felt shallow being with her that day.

As I sat in the Amul Cafeteria with her and our friends, my mind raced with thoughts of what was to come. She had told me that Kabir would be joining us, and despite her invitation for me to stay, I knew deep down that I couldn't handle it. I excused myself to get coffee, feeling weak for not being able to confront the situation head-on.

When I received her message asking where I had gone, I replied with a snarky remark about getting coffee. Her response was simple: "Shut up". I knew that I wasn't strong enough to deal with everything that was happening, but I couldn't bring myself to accept it either.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. We sat together in class, but the silence between us was deafening. I knew that I had to let things be. It was the only way to preserve my sanity.

Later that evening, we decided to take a quiz together near the laundry area. I convinced our friends to join us, despite their questioning looks. But before we joined her, I asked her one thing: "You are saying that I can come, but the question is can I?" Her response was simple: "Just come naa! We will see!"