The Girl with a Teacher's Heart

Chapter 12: My Immortal

January, 2020

It's been three days since my argument with Hudson. I couldn't bear the thought of looking at him after what he said about my musical taste. So what if I didn't like his type of music? Sure, I listen to movie soundtracks, but those are relaxing especially if I am doing schoolwork. But I guess everyone has their preferences. I told Sasha and Rebecca about this argument, but I broke down in tears immediately.

"Taylor, are you okay?" Sasha asked.

"Y-yeah, I am fine." I picked at my lunch.

"You don't look so good." Rebecca noticed as I was not looking at either one of the girls.

I looked up to them in tears.

"Whoa, Taylor!" Rebecca exclaimed. She came over and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"What did Hudson say? Does he like you back?" Sasha asked.

"No, he doesn't. Those signs were all fake. He never liked me in the first place and found out quickly that I did." I said, still picking at my lunch.

"What happened?" Rebecca asked as she was rubbing my shoulders.

"We had an argument about musical tastes." I said while I looked down.

"Oh, so I am assuming that didn't go well?" Rebecca asked. 

I shook my head.

"I am so sorry, Taylor." Sasha said as she gave me a somber look on her face.

I thought about the song My Immortal by Evanescence. It reminded me of how I was feeling during that argument I had with Hudson. In the song Amy Lee sings: 

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time can not erase*

* My Immortal by Evanescence music video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo

I wanted Hudson to leave me alone, but I guess it wasn't that easy. A week later, he popped up again and wanted to see if I could sit with him in the cafeteria. I did, but in  my mind, I wanted him to leave and let me heal from his toxic words. Wait, did I say toxic words? I meant, 'sarcastic humor'. Sarcasm has not been my friend since the beginning. I always took it to heart because I am a very sensitive person. After his rejection, I started to have trust issues. As a result, It was hard to move forward with being in a relationship. Or so I thought when my life would change within a couple of weeks later.