I just want to be the one you love (h.h.j x l.f.l)

5

Felix's pov

I slumped on my bed.

Why is everyone so happy?

Why am I feeling like this?

Why-

My phone beeped.

⚠️⚠️ self harm/ mentions of rape

Mom:
Hey sweetie. Well... your father and I got a divorce, and I'm kind of dating your raper... hope you are supportive! We are coming tomorrow by the way! Bye!! ^ we shall name this bitch Josh:)) sorry to all Josh's.

I froze.

I wouldn't look away from I'm kind of dating your raper...

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING WITH MY LIFE??

I started pacing back and forth around my living room.

I fiddled with my fingers.

I was breathing heavily

I looked down at my arm. Don't do it.

Don't do it

Don't do it

I grabbed one of my small knives I had in my room.

Don't do i-

I slowly dragged the knife across my lower arm.

I yelped in pain.

But it felt good.

Something good in my life.

I searched for more spots to cut.

To feel something.

I cut a couple more times, crying in pain every time.

I bit my skin til it was bleeding.

"LET ME HAVE A NORMAL LIFE, LET ME FEEL SOMETHING, LET ME BE LOVED, LET ME FEEL LIKE I DESERVE TO BE HERE" I screamed over and over again.

I heard people outside my apartment.

"Felix!! Let me in!!"

"Lix let us in!!"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME" I yelled.

"Lix, we're here to help you." Seungmin said.

"NO YOUR NOT. YOUR GOING TO DROP ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HAS, YOUR NOT GOING TO CARE ABOUT ME."

"Felix please let us in." I.N begged.

"OH SEUNGMIN, YOU BROUGHT YOUR BITCH HERE TOO? YOUR GOING TO BE ALL LOVEY IN FRONT ON ME?" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"AND NO ONE IS GOING TO THING ABOUT MY FEELINGS BECAUSE NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME. ONLY ABOUT THEIR LOVER" I mocked.

"F-Felix? Do you really think this-

I cut once again, this time a sharp, most painful cut.

I cried as I screamed so loud.

"FELIX LET US IN" seungmin and I.N yelled, banging on the door.

"NO-"

I blacked out.

——————
:)) I'm fine 🙂