I just want to be the one you love (h.h.j x l.f.l)

17

Felix's pov

Did he really say he will always love me?

He meant as a friend!

Right??

I was the first one to wake up.

I felt one hand on my hip and the other on my ass...

I stayed there, not wanting to wake up the older.

I then felt someone back hug me.

"Good morning lix." Hyunjin hummed.

I was about to say good morning back, but it wouldn't come out.

Instead I jumped, something doesn't feel right.

Hyunjin sat up quick. "Is everything ok??"

I shook my head quick. "No!"

"Felix I'm sure- FELIX!!!"

I ran out of my apartment.

I need to be away from him.

Why does he always come back to me?

And why do I allow it??

I ran to Binnie's apartment.

I knocked on the door, hyperventilating.

Changbin opened to door.

I jumped into his arms crying hysterically.

"I- uh... Felix? Are you ok??"

We sat on Changbin's couch.

"Felix, can you please talk to me?" Changbin begged.

I shook my head violently.

I looked up when I heard someone walk into the living room.

"Lix?? What's wrong?" Chan dropped the towel that was drying his hair, and ran over to me.

"Nothing." I looked down.

He lifted my chin. "I know there's something wrong."

Silent tears left my eyes. Chan quickly wiped them away from my face.

"Felix, this is unhealthy. You need to talk to us! We are your friends! We will listen and understand you!" Changbin said.

I looked down. "I don't even know who are my friends anymore."

"I don't know what to do with life anymore." I stood up and rubbed my nape aggressively.

"I have so many things going on in my head and in real life I don't know what to fucking do."

"I would rather just end it. Then all my problems would be cured!" I chuckled.

"Felix.. please don't say that.." Chan calmly said.

"But it's true no? It would help soooo many people!! Innie would stop loving me, I would stop loving Hyunjin, and Hyunjin would stop loving Changbin!!"

I froze. did i really just say that?!

"What was the last thing you just said?" Chan stood up.

"Oh I said-

"felix??" Seungmin appeared literally out of thin air.

"Oh great! Here's Seungmin now!"

"I just said that Innie loves me, that Hyunjin loves Changbin, and that I love Hyunjin right in front of Seungmin!!"

"Greatt!" I sarcastically said.

"Well actually.." Minho appeared.

"We're here too.." Han stood next to Minho.

"OH SPECTACULAR!! I LOVE PEOPLE FINDING OUT ABOUT MY PROBLEMS! ITS SO MUCH FUN YOU KNOW!!"

"Felix... please calm-"

"NO I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING TO SAY. CALM DOWN FELIX, PLEASE CALM DOWN, WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS? IM ALLOWED TO HAVE FEELINGS. JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SHOW IT OFTEN DOESN'T MEAN THAT I DON'T HAVE THEM"

"Felix... we feel like your slipping away from us.."

"YOU FEEL LIKE I'M SLIPPING AWAY FROM YOU GUYS? I'M SLIPPING AWAY FROM MYSELF. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. I AM SO FUCKED UP THAT I WANT SOMEONE TO KILL ME SO BAD. I WANT TO DIE. LET ME DIE." I begged in pain.

I felt the boys hugging me as i fell to the ground.

I whispered out. "Help me"