Is He Really Worth It? ( *Pico x Keith* )

? Worn Out ?

A while had past, and I decided to see what Pico was texting me. I prepared for the worst. I've notice he sent about seven messages. He didn't have the best spelling, but I could assume why. The texts read:

"KEITH WHREE AAE YYOU?"
"YOU!REE AMMKING A MISAKE"
"PLAESE"
"DON'TTD GO BACKV TTO THEM"
"THEY'RE GGONA HURT YYOE"
"IM SORY"
"JUST COME ABCK"

I feel bad. I caused a lot of stress and worry in him and his parents. I'm sure he doesn't know where I live either. He's gonna take a lot of time on searching for me. I knew he cared. Why can't I just care the same. I hate this.

I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't want to suffer anymore.
When can I just have a normal life.
It's never going to be like that now.
I'm stuck.
Forever.

I waited some time, and suddenly, everything had gotten quiet again. I don't recall it being silent? What was happening to me. My ears rung, and I felt nauseous. Was I about to pass out? What is wrong with me.

I keep overthinking too hard. I don't want to be apart of this anymore. I don't deserve this. I'm done. I'm tired of waiting for something new to happen. Every single day is just the same crap over and over again. I miss being a kid. I remember those times where I would play with this one kid. I forgot her name though. I don't think she really liked me. She kinda hated my guts. I think I can see why now. There isn't much to like about me.

I stood up out of my bed a looked into my phone, responding to Pico's texts.
"I'm okay, I promise. No worries. My parents didn't hurt me. I'm just chilling in my room."

He surely read my message. However, Pico didn't respond to it. I want him to stop looking for me. Sooner or later, I realized that if I didn't come back, everything could have changed. Maybe this idea was stupid. You know what. I'm gonna run back to Pico. It's gonna be awkward, but this is what I get for thinking I know what's best for me. Maybe Pico was right. All of this is stupid.

I went up to my window, and hopped onto the front-rooftop of my house, and climbed down from the pillar supporting the roof. I ended up scraping my knee, but that's nothing. I swapped the tables and then was the one who started looking for Pico.

I began to look through the park, and I didn't see him there. He might be at the bar or his house. I stopped by this bridge near this river. I looked down, and realize how far down it was. Everything got quiet again.

Why does everything keep getting quiet? What triggers this? Was my overthinking moments? Something wasn't right. I stared down at the river that flowed quickly and thought;

<If I was to jump off this bridge right now, would my death be quick?>

I thought about it for a moment. I don't think I was really about to let myself go right there.

..Was I?

No no, that'd be stupid. But then again... Nah, I wouldn't do that... Right? I dragged my finger-tips against the railing. I could feel all the letters that were carved into the bridge. I looked at them. There was "S+S", "N+S", "Z+S", and "R+Q". How sweet. I remember as a kid I liked to carve my name into trees with a small knife just for the fun of it. Usually just "Keith was here" though. I heard yells behind me. I think Pico and his parents were back in that area looking for me. I didn't turn around. I didn't want to. I keep making stupid decisions. I hate when I do that. I just tried to make everything right. I dragged Pico into this mess. I feel ashamed.