When You Left

I

I'm here, waiting for you to arrive. Another day, another date. One to which you're late. Something you've been doing a lot these days. 

I take a half-hearted sip of my iced coffee, staring out of the window, hoping I'll see you walking towards the café, waving and smiling. I watch for a little longer, the hope of you showing up slowly draining out from my system. 

"Miss, would you like to order now?" the waitress asks me for the 3rd time today. I smile guiltily saying that I'd wait for a little longer and apologize for giving her trouble. She smiles sympathetically, perhaps also knowing that the one I'm waiting for won't show up.

My phone dings, indicating a new message received and I pull it out of my pocket. I see your name flash across the screen along with your text. I open it hoping that it says that you're sorry for running late and that you'll be here any minute. 

But, no such luck. 

Sorry, baby, something came up suddenly. I won't be able to make it. Don't wait for me. Go home. I 'll see you later. Love you.

I sigh as I shut off my phone and grab my stuff, taking one last sip of my coffee. I bow to the waitress with a small smile which she reciprocates. This is the 5th time you've stood me up and sad to say, I've gotten quite used to it. 

The cold, winter air hits me as I open the door and exit the café. I walk down the street and to a bus stand nearby. I wait for the bus, which arrives on time, as always.

I show my bus card to the conductor who registers it. I walk towards a single seat in the back of the bus and sit down.

I look out the window and see the sky a vibrant gradient of yellow, orange and red. A small smile graces my face, in awe at the beauty of the day.

The bus comes to a halt at my stop and I get off, walking straight in the direction of the house. I open the door and a musty, woody smell greets my nose. I dump my stuff on the sofa and sit down, heavily. 

I can feel the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. Making no attempt to stop them, I let them flow down my rosy cheeks, turned red from the cold. I cry long and hard. 

I cry because I miss you and I cry because I'm disgusted at myself from letting your -lately- usual absence bother me so much. I pull my knees close to my body and bury my head between them, the sound of my soft sobs filling the entire house. 

A few hours later, I open my eyes only to close them again, the sudden light assaulting them in their already weakened state. I fell asleep because I was exhausted from crying. I felt sick and sticky all over, so I get up and head to the bathroom to take a long hot shower, hopefully drowning my sorrow and sadness. 

After, I make myself a cup of hot chocolate and sit at the counter, legs crossed, eyes fixed on the door. Seconds turn into minutes and minutes to hours. My eyes remained fixed at the door, the drink now cold in my cup. 

I move my head to check the time. 

10:45 pm. I sigh for the umpteenth time today, as I pour the hot chocolate, watching it flow down the drain and wash the cup. 

I'm about to walk towards my room to resign for the day when the bell rings. I suppose you finally remember you have a home and a girlfriend to return to. I fasten my pace and open the door. Only to see you leaning against the doorway, your shirt and hair a mess and you dead drunk.