When You Left

VIII

I feel broken. I can't stop crying. I'm sick of it really. You're there with her, feeling much better than I am. To you, I'm already the past.

But I just can't seem to let you go. Your face is the only thing that appears when I close my eyes. Your expression burned into my memory. And it hits me harder every single time.

I miss you so much it hurts. You were such a huge part of my life for such a long time I forgot how to live without you in it. You were my everything. You were the Sun and I was the Earth in our little universe. My entire world revolved around you.

And that you're gone, my world's crumbling. Falling to the ground.

You were the one thing that held all my broken pieces together, made them fit. Like a mismatched but beautiful puzzle. I was unravelling without you and no matter how much I wished -hoped- that you'd come back, I knew you wouldn't.

And my heart couldn't take that.

My head is pounding and my throat parched from crying. Eyes red and swollen. I get up and grab a glass of water.

I'm wearing one of your old hoodies. My favorite one. I stole it from you and kept it in my closet. You must have forgotten to take it. I'm glad you did.

It lost your scent a long time ago. But it feels like home. Like I'm wrapped up in your strong arms.

I remember having nightmares of you leaving. I'd be crying and begging in my sleep. I'd wake up with a start, face streaked with tears. Only to realize you were right there. Right next to me, holding me close to you.

You'd stroke my hair, whispering softly that you were right there as I cried into your shirt. You'd kiss my forehead just before I fell back asleep, feeling safe and sure.

You weren't here now. To stroke my hair. To kiss me goodnight. To hold me when I cried. To make me happy again.