When You Left

VII

It's been a whole week now. It felt like it had dragged on for months. Today is the day, I finally got out of the house.

There was absolutely no food in the house whatsoever. I didn't want to add starvation to my already full plate, so I got dressed and ready to go grocery shopping.

I got in my car and peeled out of the lot, tires screeching against the asphalt. It was a 20 minute drive to the nearest shopping market.

I grab a cart and head to one of the isles. I scan the endless rows of food, every so often putting an item in the cart. As I turned down another isle, my eyes fall on a familiar figure. I squint my eyes, not wanting to believe it. But I'd recognize that figure anywhere. My heart shatters all over again. You came with her.

The one you left me for. The one you loved. I couldn't help the rush of jealousy that flowed through my every vein. I could feel the tears pricking at the corner of my eyes.

She's holding the cart, while your arms are wrapped around her, back hugging her. You lean down and say something into her ear, making her giggle. A large smile breaks out on your face.

The same smile that was once reserved only for me. The smile I had missed so much, the one I'd spent all my tears on.

As you walked on, I noticed the slight bulge in the girl's stomach. It wasn't very large but it was still noticeable. I suddenly can't breathe.

All those beautiful, painful memories come at me at once, drowning me.

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You and me laying in bed after making love. One of your hands in my hair and mine playing with your other one.

"Baby?" You whisper. "How many kids do you want?"

I look at you, shocked. You smile and I start to think.

"Maybe two? So that they don't get lonely. A girl and a boy." I reply, my heart warming at the thought of our children.

You bury your face in the crook of my neck and murmur ever so softly "I love you."

"I love you too." I say, knowing in my heart that there was nothing more true than those 4 short words.

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I felt a tear drop onto my cheek, and I wipe it with the sleeve of my shirt before anyone can notice. 

It was as if all those promises and confessions -that were my everything- meant absolutely nothing to you now. Like they disappeared into thin air.

Gone.

The both of you move ahead, turning around the corner. Your head raises and our eyes meet. The smile falls of your face immediately.  A flurry of emotions pass over your face in seconds but the settle on the most horrible one.

There's a slight smugness on your face, as if saying she's better than you.

I turn around and walk away as fast as I can to the nearest billing counter. The clerk quickly scans the items I had taken. I pay and bolt to my car.

I get in, slamming the door, the harsh sound echoing throughout the lot. Before I can stop them, the tears I had managed to hold back, finally fall, thick and fast. Leaving me a broken mess.