That Stupid Little L-Word:

Chapter Forty Five:

One of the perks of being pregnant, and in high school, is that morning sickness can be used to feign an actual illness, and I manage to get out of school for almost the rest of the week because of it. Amanda is nice enough to bring me my homework, and I email Ms Henry about tutoring, so I don't miss too much. 

On Friday, however, my mom puts her foot down. 

"You need to try to go to school," she says. She watches me from the bathroom doorway, her arms folded across her chest. I sit in front of the toilet. My cheek is pressed against the white --and clean, thankfully- seat. "Otherwise we need to go ahead and make a doctor's appointment." 

I close my eyes. I'm exhausted. I don't want to deal with this. But I can't go to the doctor's yet. The diagnosis that my mother will get is one that I know she won't like. 

She frowns at me. Her voice is soft and gentle. "Do you think you'll be able to make it?"

"Yeah," I murmur. 

She walks over and runs her fingers through my hair. "I love you," she says, and then leaves the bathroom. I swallow back the nausea and force myself to get up.  It wasn't just the morning sickness that was keeping me down, I knew that. Just the idea of seeing Blue-Eyes again sent me running back to the toilet. 

I call Amanda and tell her the news. 

I get dressed and hover around the toilet until I hear a horn blast from outside. My hands shake with nerves as I gather my backpack, yesterday's homework, and go out to meet Amanda. "Just call and I'll come get you," my mom says as I step outside. 

Amanda sits behind the wheel of her van. I climb inside and slump down in the seat. She glances at me from the corner of her eyes as she eases down the driveway. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Like shit," I grumble. I hold up my hands, which shake like I've drowned four cans of red bull. "I'm trembling, Amanda. I'm not sure I can do this." 

"Alice, stop that. You can do this," she says, and smiles at me. "Kill him with kindness. It will bug him if you show up smiling happily and act totally over it." 

"But I'm not totally over it," I sigh. 

"He doesn't know that." Amanda's van pulls into the student parking lot and puts the massive car into park. "He knows that you're pregnant, and that you suffer from morning sickness. Plus there's a good chance that he's not even going to be here today. Like I've told you, he's been playing hooky too."

I grunt in response. I stare up at the school with disdain. It seemed to be even more prison-like today. Amanda climbs out of the car and waits, somewhat patiently, on the sidewalk for me to emerge from her car. I climb out slowly and test the waters. No one immediately notices my appearance, which sends a wave of relief rushing through me. I walk toward Amanda and rub at my temples. 

"I'm tired. I think I'm developing a headache." 

"I'll punch you if you try to get back into that car," Amanda says with a cheeky smile. I scowl at her and scan the parking lot. No sexy black mustang in sight, so I assume that I am safe for now. 

I sigh and loop my arm through hers. Amanda smiles and tugs me toward the courtyard. My stomach twists uneasily, but it's manageable. We walk onto campus and I absently tug at my shirt. It's pretty baggy, and a pale pink color. It's not like I'm showing yet or anything. I didn't feel like trying to look pretty today. 

"Well look who decided to show up today," a painfully familiar voice sounds from behind me. I turn and grimace at Miley, who stands a few feet away with her hands folded across her chest. She looks like the darker version of Regina George, from Mean Girls. Red-Roots and Bimbo Two are huddled around her like brainwashed puppies.