That Stupid Little L-Word:

Chapter Sixty Five: (FINAL)

"Hey there," Seth greets awkwardly. He steps inside the room, shutting the door softly behind him, and notices the bassinet beside my hospital bed. His gaze immediately shifts to the small peanut in my arms, swathed in white and pink blankets, and then softens. He scratches at the back of his neck and says, "To be honest, I'm not really supposed to be here. Like my parents will totally kill me if they find out that I skipped school."

"Then why are you here?"

He hesitates and his lips twist into a frown. "I just wanted to see my daughter," he says, his eyes still locked on my peanut. "I have the right to see her, you know."

I clutch her closer to my chest protectively and my jaw clenches. "You gave up that right three months ago, when you signed those papers that released your parental rights. You have no right to see her. Now get out."

I refused to let him near her. He may have provided the sperm, but that's it –and all that really did was give my peanut her DNA. I provided everything else. I carried her inside my body for nine months. I went through all the stress of being dumped, being a teenage mother, of trying to graduate. I was bullied, beaten, and injured. The only thing that he did was screw other girls and send his little posse to hurt me.

He had no right to see her. Not legally, not morally. And I refused to let him hurt her too.

He didn't move, his hands clenching into tight fists. His eyebrows furrow with annoyance as he lifts his gaze to meet mine. "Look," he snaps, "I'm sorry, okay?"

"You've done enough damage, Seth," I snap right back. "Now get out before I call security."

Seth completely ignores me. Instead, he starts to pace the length of the room. He throws his hands into the air and starts to rant. "Just let me get this out! I risked a lot to get here today, and I'm not leaving. Okay, I got scared. My parents control my life –I mean, you've met them. You know how they are. Everything has to be perfect, our reputations are everything. When you told me that you were pregnant, all I could think about was what my parents would say. What was I supposed to do? Go against my parents? They would cut me off of everything and I'd be kicked out on the street, Alice!"

It takes all I had not to put Emma in the bassinet, climb out of this damn bed, and slap him silly.

I cover Emma's ears, lest she wake up to my screaming. "That doesn't matter, Seth! We both messed up. We both were supposed to be in this together –at least that is what you promised me. You told me that you loved me. You don't love someone and then dump them when they need you the most. That's not what love is. Love is when you work together with someone, through thick and thin, because you care about them. You don't just abandon them! You left me to fend for myself. You were terrified? You weren't pregnant. You weren't carrying a living creature around inside you for nine months, while your body changed in weird ways and you got fat. You weren't bullied and hated in school. You weren't attacked. So don't tell me you were scared. That's no damn excuse."

He opens his mouth to respond, but I held a hand up and growl, "I'm not fucking finished."

"You don't get to come in here at the last minute, after most of the scary stuff is over, and attempt to see my daughter. You don't get to skip all the hardship and just expect to be allowed back into my life like nothing happened. She is not your daughter. She may be unfortunately related to you by blood, but you are certainly not her father. A father wouldn't abandon her like that. So get out. You have no business here, and I don't want you in the same room as us. I don't want to hear another word from your mouth. I'm exhausted. I just pushed a six pound creature out of my freaking body, and don't want to hear how you were "scared". Just bug off."

Seth clamps his mouth shut. He stares at me for a few moments, his face splotched with red and his eyes glassy with angered tears. His hands clench into tight fists. His gaze shifts from me to my peanut, and then back to me. Then he turns and marches right out the door.

After the door has slammed shut behind him, I settle back against my pillow, a headache raging through my brain like a thunderstorm. A tiny yawn snags my attention and I look down. My annoyance immediately starts to fades away as I watch my tiny peanut reach out with her hand, grasping for my finger.

Then the door opens again.

I brace myself, expecting Seth to walk back into the room. Instead, Eric shoves the door completely open and enters, a plastic bag dangling from one wrist. A bouquet of bright orange roses sits in his other hand, decorated with pink ribbons, and a massive round balloon is attached –reading: "It's a girl!" in massive letters.

I can't help but smile at the sight. "Why hello there."

He grins at me and holds up the items in his hands. "I brought food," he announces, making his way toward the open seat beside my bed. He sets the roses down on the edge of the bed and then starts to dig through the plastic bag. "I know that the hospital food sucks," he says as he hands me a pack of M&M's.

My smile grows as I shift Emma around in my arms, grabbing the packet when my hand is free. It crinkles in my hand, slightly cold. Just the way I like them. "Because M&M's are so much better than burnt green beans."

The tension that had tainted the air starts to ebb away, and I spend the rest of the night talking to Eric, Emma sleeping peacefully in my arms. As time passes, and nurses roam in and out of the room, he offers me more food –good food—and tells me all about his trip to Walmart. I then tell him all about Seth coming in, and about how I essentially told the dude to leave me alone. The latter seems to make Eric happy, and it's hinted that he is totally cool with taking Emma and I out to dinner at some point in the near future.

A small part of me is incredibly thankful that he seemed willing to wait until I am ready to date again. And another small part of me decides that, once I am ready, I will definitely take him up on that offer.

But for the time being, I want to focus on being a mother.

I want to show my daughter that I can do this; that we don't need a man to take care of us. We can keep on our feet, take care of ourselves, and love ourselves. I need her to know enough to avoid the mistakes I made. I don't want her to give away parts of herself over something that she 'thinks' is real, genuine love.

I just want to teach her the true definition of love.

I mean, love is the feelings you harbor for a person, and the actions you take to prove it to them. Love is doing everything in your power to be there to support that person, to make that person happy. Love is also about taking care of yourself too.

Emma needs to learn that. I may not be the best mother in the world but, so long as she learns the truth about love, I know I'll have done my job.

~

Thank you for all of the support that y'all have given me throughout the many years it's taken me to complete this story! Your support means the world to me! 

I can't believe it's over. This story was one of the first that I started on this account, so it harbors a lot of nostalgia for me ;-; Though I am happy that I've finished it. And for those who might ask: To be honest, the chances of me writing a sequel for this story are slim to none. 

So if you feel like you want more, definitely feel free to check out some of my other stories :) 

Be sure to leave your thoughts below! 

Thank you again <3