That Stupid Little L-Word:

Chapter Forty Seven:

I pull my hair back into a high ponytail and absently I stare at myself in the vanity mirror for a few moments. My face seems about as tired as I feel. There are heavy bags under my eyes from lack of sleep --thank you, Blue-Eyes. I glance down at my stomach, and my palm presses flat against it. I think about the teasing that has already started and wonder what Monday holds for me. I would have never imagined myself being pregnant my senior year. 

"Amanda's here," I hear my mother call from downstairs. 

I flash a small smile when I hear the dying wheeze Amanda's van makes as she shuts it off. I stand and hastily change into a smaller t-shirt that actually matches my inky yoga pants. I need to start trying to look cute again. I slip into some sneakers and then make my way toward the staircase. 

I hear the familiar creak of the front door opening and my mother greeting Amanda as she enters the house. the my mother and Amanda share a laugh. "Honey, I'm home," Amanda shouts.

I bound down the staircase. It's only been a day since I've seen her last, but I'm extremely happy that she's here. I grin at her when I see her. Her attire almost matches mine. 

"You're looking pretty good this morning, Momma," Amanda remarks as I enter the foyer. 

I roll my eyes. "I'm not a Momma just yet," I laugh. "Let's go. I'm ready." 

We walk outside and climb into my mother's van. I sit in the middle section with Amanda, and settle into the seat. I'm kind of nervous about this doctor's visit. I have no clue how far along I could be, and I wonder if they will tell us the gender today. I absently listen to my mother and Amanda chatter; they're making plans for Amanda to spend the night tonight. My gaze focuses on the scenery that passes by my window and my thoughts drift back to what happened earlier this week. 

I just can't believe that Seth turned out to be one of those guys. 

The type that seemed desperate to get into a girl's pants, only to abandon her when things turned serious. I feel so stupid. I had trusted him, I'd thought that he wouldn't have left. I thought he would have stayed, like the good boyfriend he promised he was. But he lied to me. 

It makes me angry. I am beyond pissed whenever I think about what happened. He pursued me. He made me feel special. He told me that he loved me, and that we'd be together forever. He promised that he'd be there through thick and thin.

I was so stupid for believing him. But he'd never given me a reason not to trust him. 

I really wanted to know why he chose me. I think that was the biggest question that haunted me. I am depressed and upset and pissed. I'm hurt. But I really just want to know why. What had I ever done to him to deserve something like this?

Bimbo drifts into my thoughts then, and I wonder if she'd given him everything, like I had. It drives me crazy to think that he's done something like this before. I can understand her now, and her animosity toward me. I think I'd have a mental breakdown if Blue-Eyes had left me for someone else. 

"Alice?" 

I hum and turn my gaze away from the window. I suddenly realize that the van has stopped, and Amanda has already climbed out of it. She and my mother stand in front of the open door, watching me worriedly. My eyes widen. "Oh! Sorry!" 

I climb out of the van and flash them a sheepish smile as I shut the door. Amanda eyes me, concerned. My mother leads us toward the door and holds it open. I step inside and am immediately greeted with icy air conditioned air. It's really a nice change from the humid Florida heat. 

I glance around. It's a small local clinic. The lobby is colored a pale off-white, with light wooden furniture and bright green foliage. There's a small plastic window in front of us for us to check in. 

My eyes widen as we approach, and the nurse behind it looks up. 

"Kylie?" Amanda sounds as shocked as I am. 

My mother glances back and forth between the nurse, Amanda, and I. I stare at Bimbo uncertainly, kind of uncomfortable that the subject of my thoughts had appeared so suddenly in my reality. I half feared that Blue-Eyes would be next. 

Bimbo seemed to shiver slightly, and she jerked out of her stupor. "Do you have an appointment?" she asked. 

"Yes," my mother says. 

I glance at Amanda while my mother fills out the papers, and we share a nervous look. Bimbo turns around in her seat and says something to one of the other nurses. A woman with dark black hair and a pudgy face steps forward and continues to talk to my mother. Amanda and I step aside and let my mother do her business. I watch as Bimbo vanishes. She reappears moments later, in the lobby. 

She looks nervous as she approaches us. 

"Hi." 

I blink at her. Bimbo looks to Amanda and smiles slightly. "Do you think I could talk to Alice?" 

Amanda's eyes narrow, but I nod. She doesn't seem like she's about to bitch me out, and after our last encounter, I don't think she hates me as much anymore. "I don't mind," I say to Amanda. 

"I'll go help your mom," Amanda comments. She eyes Bimbo with uncertainty as she walks toward my mom. 

I shift my attention to Bimbo and purse my lips, waiting for her to speak. She folds her arms across her chest. Even in pale pink scrubs, she looks attractive and Barbie-like. "I heard about what happened," she says finally. Her gaze falls to the floor. She hesitates slightly and then swallows thickly. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about the way that I treated you. I know it doesn't excuse what I did, but I just..." she trails off. 

"I understand," I say. I crack a thin smile. "I know why you did it." 

She laughs awkwardly. "I tried to warn you at the football game. He did the same thing to me when we dated. At first I tried to deny him," she says, and her eyes cloud over with a dark amusement. "I'm not sure how quickly you gave in to his...sexual advances, but after a while, he would have gotten bored and gone after someone else." 

I press my lips into a tight line. "Did you ever get pregnant?"

She nods. Her eyes become glassy. "I really loved him. I didn't want to lose him. That's actually how I got my internship here," she gestures toward the check-in counter. "Seth never liked to use condoms, and I couldn't tell my parents that I needed birth control. I just hoped that the old fashioned pull-out method would work." 

"It doesn't," I laugh. 

"We both learned that the hard way, didn't we?" She laughs with me. Then she sighs softly, and almost seems to hug herself. "I just wish I had told him no, you know? I know that's why he dumped you. He wouldn't have let you go if you had decided to abort the baby." 

A small silence passes between us. 

"You should also expect that he probably cheated on you," Bimbo adds after a few moments. "I learned after he found you that that was pretty much the only reason Sophie and Courtney were my friends."

"I'm sorry," I say, my lips tugging into a frown. I can't see him having slept with any of my friends, at least I didn't think so. He hated Miley and Amanda doesn't like boys. 

"Don't worry about it," Bimbo says. She flashes me a smile. "I'm just glad that we've cleared the air. Do you think we could be friends?" 

I laugh at her. "Of course." 

Happy Valentine's Day <3