Dances and Ruin// Reiner Braun x OC

Chapter Four

Reiner's eyes haven't left Peri for the past several minutes. He can't help but notice the subtle shrinking of her figure as time passes on and the way that her brownish-red curls begin to cover her face completely as she bows her head lower and lower. Sentences form and unravel at a moment's notice inside of his head, but nothing ever feels good enough to say out loud.

What are you supposed to say to something like that? "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. I'm glad you told me though, even if I don't really get it. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" That's a dumb question. Of course not. Even so, why does that definition seem to break away at her like the elements slowly chipping away the paint from an old house? She seems shattered in some way. How does someone even begin to put together old fragments that won't even fit together anymore? How do you even know where to start when you don't know how it was broken, to begin with? There's no putting those pieces back together, at least not right now-- not when everything seems so undecipherable. Besides, how can one broken person expect to fix another one? Combining the fragments of two broken people is only begging for trouble. It's the perfect set up for putting the wrong things in the wrong places, before it's all said and done who's to say they won't be worse than before? Then again, who's to say they won't be better?

No, that's naive.

Peri clears her throat loudly causing Reiner to pull from his thoughts abruptly to look up at her. The moonlight catches on the top of her head, making her typically darker hair illuminate a fiery red. He swears he can almost see a halo.

Has that always been there?

"So, are we going to dance or not?" she smiles softly. His shoulders seem to fall at the sight of that smile though. It feels incomplete, not to mention the sadness in her eyes that she's obviously trying to hide.

If anyone's at fault for bringing this side of Peri to light, it's him. That's one thing he can take responsibility for, and he knows he should. "Look, Peri, I--"

"If that's an apology just shut up, and tell me if you're going to dance with me or not," Peri says.

Reiner can tell that she's just trying to lighten the mood, but something inside of him can't help but resent that. He wants to apologize. There's so much he should apologize for, but can't. Please, just let me say it. "I'm--"

"Yes or no?" she cuts him off again.

He gulps. It's just one sentence, two words, but they're impossible to spit out at the moment. "Yeah," Reiner resigns. "A dance sounds nice."

Peri watches as Reiner brings himself to his feet before continuing. "Good, because I was hoping we could try something new tonight."

"Oh? Like what?" Reiner inquires rubbing the back of his neck. He's not sure that there's much else that Peri could surprise him with. Dancing was one thing, to begin within the sense that he was shocked to find out that anyone within the walls seemed to do it all. Not that it's hard or anything, he just doesn't happen to come across it around here.

"Give me your hand?" she asks.

Heat spreads through Reiner's cheeks as he realizes what Peri has in mind. He's seen enough dancing outside the walls to know what happens when one person gives their hand to another. He'd seen so many people dance hand in hand before, and no matter who it was-- Marleyan or Eldian or whoever else-- it always seemed to appear the same to him. It was meant for people who cared for each other in some way another. He wonders if the same applies to Peri and if so, he wonders how she cares for him. He nods his head and offers his hand to the girl standing before him. Peri gently places her hand inside of Reiner's palms. Her hands seem so gentle compared to his own. They're calloused, but not nearly as bad as his are. They're smaller too, but not by too big of a margin. They almost seem delicate despite knowing what they're capable of. He's seen how well Peri fights and uses her blades, her hands are capable of the destruction she seems to fear so badly. More importantly, though, he's seen the beautiful things they've done, too. He's seen those hands mend holes in her comrades' clothes, he's seen those hands tend to some of the crops and wildflowers in the area, and he can't count the number of times that those hands have played a part in helping heal someone that's been hurt. Despite the destruction, she fears, those same hands are capable of bringing things back to life. He wonders if she knows that too.