Dances and Ruin// Reiner Braun x OC

Chapter Sixteen

Peri is sitting on the inner corner of the wagon that she and her comrades are being taken away in. Her mind won't stop racing through the events that just occurred. Even the happenings from yesterday feel raw and fresh. Not to mention, the sight of Ymir transforming and the feeling of falling on top of the tower still feel as real as they did when they originally happened. So real, in fact, that the weight of Reiner's hand in her's feels like a weird dream. She looks down to see his hand resting in her's. His grip is relaxed, but his hand looks tense somehow. She brushes her fingers over his knuckles and rests her head on the board behind her. She closes her eyes, trying to relax. "Hey, Rei?"

"Mhm?"

"What I said to you earlier was uncalled for," she says, softly. Even after all that had transpired, her words to Reiner were the loudest. They were true, he is the rock, in multiple ways even. Simply put, he's her rock-- the one she leans against when it feels like she's in too deep. He's the one thing she has that she knows she can depend on when everything else feels like its crumbling under the weight of the world. On a more complex note, however, he's what traps her where she stands. As she said before, she's stuck between a rock and a hard place, and Reiner is the rock. If she had to associate each obstacle with a label, she'd call herself the hard place. She's fully aware of their significance and the role they play in keeping her trapped. Even so, she should've never mentioned it to Reiner. Even if she was frustrated. "About you being the rock... I shouldn't have said it." She opens her eyes and looks over at the blond boy.

Whatever energy he's been using to keep up his unbothered and prepared facade finally fades into nothing, his shoulders relaxing fully. "Oh. Don't worry about it. I think you might've been right."

She shakes her head, "I know what I said was right. But for me to have said it was what was wrong."

"I see," he sighs. "Look, Peri, I heard what you had to say back there. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I didn't fall in love with the bringer of destruction though. I fell in love with Peri. I fell for grey eyes, red hair, a girl who loves dancing, and a girl who's still trying to understand herself. You wouldn't dare tell me that you confuse even yourself, it's not like you to do something like that. What you said wasn't wrong, and the fact that you said it wasn't wrong either. It was exactly what I needed to hear to help me understand you just a bit better."

The wagon comes to a full stop and Peri looks over her shoulder to see the wall towering over them. She frowns as she stands, offering her hand to Reiner to help him up. He grips tightly with his good arm and pulls himself up, both of them climbing off of the cart and beginning to walk back toward the pulleys and ropes hanging off of the side of the wall, there for the sake of helping them up. As they draw nearer, Peri can't shake the unmistakable feeling of dread in her chest that feels like it's snowballing out of control. Why? Why is that there? She inhales, rolling her shoulders back. "What understanding did you come to?"

Reiner looks up, toward the top of the wall. His eyebrows knit together, and Peri finds herself wondering what it is that's causing him to think that deeply. He sighs, "You're stuck between a rock and a hard place. That's what you said. Now that I think of it, it makes sense, and I don't know why I didn't notice it sooner. I guess I was being selfish. Who's to say? Either way, I think it's evident that when you say a rock and a hard place, you mean my perception versus your own perception. That or the perception you have of yourself that you learned through harmful means. It's hard to unlearn. It's hard to pick up a rock that you think is too heavy, especially when your only other option is to dig deeper when it's only getting harder to."

Peri clutches her chest. What is this? She comes to a stop in front of the ropes. Everyone else seems to trail a little further behind, allowing them a few more moments of alone time. Her eyes cut up to see him frowning, and resting his head in his hands. "Does your head hurt?"