There are Stars in Your Eyes

o n e

JJ Point of View

I glance across the bar towards Emily who is dancing with some women. I can feel myself blushing as Emily's raven curls sway with her every move. I find myself lost in thought when Garcia approaches me.

"JJ, you alright?" Garcia asks snapping me out of my trance

"Yeah Pen, I'm just going to grab another drink," I respond still keeping my eyes on Emily. I walk over to the bar an order my fourth drink for the night. This past month has been rough and I plan on forgetting everything tonight. I grab my drink and head back to the table glancing at Emily grinding on the girl. 

"Did you know Emily was into women?" Garcia asks me, "not that anything is wrong with it, I just didn't know,"

"She has brought up the topic a few times before, I'm pretty sure she's bi," I respond glancing at the women Emily was now making out with. I feel a wave of anger rush over me, was I jealous of that girl for getting to be with Emily? No, I love Emily more than anything but just as friends and nothing more. 

After Garcia orders two more rounds of shots for us, I stumble into the bathroom. I am washing my hands when I hear the door open, Emily comes in.

"Hey Em!" I say, "Are you going home with that girl tonight? She's pretty,"

"Oh her? No way. Besides, I have my eyes on someone else," Emily says with a slight smile

I don't know what to respond to this. Emily and I are just friends I think to myself.

"Oh? And who might that be?" I ask trying to hide my jealousy 

"A very pretty girl," Emily responds "And you probably know her better than anyone else," 

Before I could get out another word Emily winks at me and leaves the bathroom. Who could that be? I think to myself. Emily was my best friend, the only one I might know better than her would be Garcia, and it couldn't be Garcia, she is dating Kevin. 

Making my way back to the table, I try to forget our conversation in the bathroom. I have a few more shots before Garcia decides it would be best to take me home. When we get to my apartment, Emily follows us up to use the restroom. Garcia gets me to bed and sets out a cup of water and aspirin for me in the morning.

"Thanks Pen," I manage to mumble before rushing to the bathroom to throw up. I feel a cold sensation touch my neck, it is Emily pulling back my hair. 

"Um Jayje is it okay if I stay here tonight? I really don't feel like going home and I better stay with you," Emily asks

"Of course Em," I say before throwing up again. Emily rubbed my back, goosebumps run down my neck at her touch

"Okay then girlies, I'm going to head out," Garcia says leaving my apartment.

I wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and someone's arms around my waist. It took a second for me to realize that it was Emily. The last time I woke up with someone next to me was the morning I found out I was pregnant with Will's baby, and after that things went downhill. That was over 6 months ago and Emily had stayed by my side through the whole thing.

Flashback

I woke up to my alarm and Will kissed my cheek. He had come up from New Orleans to spend the weekend with me and we were planning on going out to lunch. After getting up that morning I realized I was now a week late for my period. This was not super strange since my period was irregular, but since I had gone on birth control it was on a more regular schedule. I decided to take a pregnancy test anyways knowing it would come back negative. 

"Hey," I said coming out of the bathroom "I'm going to run to the store really quick, do you need anything?"

"Nope, just be back for lunch," Will responded and kissed me

I arrived at the Walgreens down the street and took the test in the bathroom. When it came back positive I bought two more tests hoping that it was a false positive. Now, I had three positive pregnancy tests, so I knew it was true. Panic rushed over me. 'How would Will react?' I thought while gathering my things to leave the store. On my way home I decided I would tell him at lunch. I also decided that this was a good thing. I had always wanted kids, and even though right now I couldn't see my self ending up with Will, maybe my opinion would change. After all, he was a good guy. 

When I finally told Will, his reaction was not what I had been expecting. He asked if I was going to keep the baby and when I said yes he got up and left. After paying, I went home to find that Will had packed up his things and left. I immediately called Emily and she rushed over to hold me while I cried. 

Back to present time

Shortly after I woke up, I felt Emily stirring.

"Em wake up we have work," I said kissing her forehead and getting out of bed. I take the aspirin and hand one to Emily all the while admiring how pretty she looks even having just woken up.

"Uggh I hope we don't have a case today," Emily says getting out of bed

"Me too," I respond handing her some clothes "Here, you won't have time to go home Penelope is picking us up in 30 minutes since our cars are at the bar."

I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. After getting ready I glance over at Emily in her bra changing into my clothes. After Will left, Emily had stayed with me in the guest room for about a month. She was there for my first ultra sound, helped me create a Pinterest board for the new baby, tell the team I was pregnant, and lastly when I found out that my precious baby was now an angel. I tried for months to convince myself that the reason I lost my baby was not my fault, but it really was. I had been in the field that day because the case involved children and hit close to home, but I had been staying in the Mobile Command Center. I thought I was safe, but shortly after getting the 2 kids out of the house I exited the van when the house exploded. Other agents got hurt worse than me and luckily no one died, but I was thrown in the air and when I fell, I lost the baby. That was just 2 months after Will left, and I took another month off work. I stayed with my mom for a while and stayed with Emily the first week I was back at work. It hurt me to know that my child lost it's life because of my job, but I stayed to save more lives. 

Shortly after my cry session in the bathroom, I heard a honk outside followed by Emily yelling my name. I quickly dried my tears, applied some light mascara and rushed out the door.