There are Stars in Your Eyes

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Emily's Point of View

JJ, Penelope, and I walk into the BAU at 7:25 and head straight for the coffee pot. It doesn't take a profiler for someone to realize something is off about JJ. I have a feeling it has to do with what she has been going through the past 6 months, but most of the team doesn't know how to talk to her about the subject. JJ knows we were all here for her, and she will come to us when she is ready to talk. She's opened up to me more than anyone on the team, even Spencer but Jj still don't know exactly how she feels about it. We all feel terrible about what happened especially Hotch because he thinks he should have pushed harder to keep her out of the field that day, but JJ blames herself and the job. I'm glad she got that asshat Will out of her life but the reason he left is terrible.

Around 9:15 I see JJ leave her office to get a second cup of coffee. I get up from my desk and meet her at the coffee pot.

"Hey Jayje, are you doing okay?" I ask

"Not really Em, it's been exactly 6 months since Will left and it's just been a hard morning," JJ responds with tears forming in her eyes

"Oh JJ I had no idea it was 6 months today. Do you want to talk about it? If your not ready that's fine, just know I'm here," I say. I want JJ to know I'm here for her, but I don't want her to feel forced to talk.

"I'm not ready to talk yet, but can you come over tonight?" JJ asks

"Of course Jayje, does 7 work?"

"That's perfect, thanks Em," JJ says with a slight smile and walks away

I leave my house at 6:45 in sweat pants and my red tank top. I arrive at JJ's just before 7 and knock on the door. JJ opened the door, her hair was in a messy bun, sweatpants, and an old soccer hoodie probably from when she was in high school. I caught myself staring at her a little too long wondering how someone could look so gorgeous in sweatpants and a hoodie. I know if I was wearing that I would look like a brown paper bag.

"Emily! You made it!" She says as I walk in

"Of course I did," I felt awkward around JJ even though she's my best friend. I don't want to say the wrong thing or push her to talk if she's not ready. Luckily, she seems happier since this morning. I walk into the living room and sit on the couch, JJ comes in with a bottle of wine and some glasses. She grabs a blanket, sits next to me, and turns on The Greatest Showman. I admire her as she's tucked under the blankets with her head I'm my lap. Her blonde hair falling out of her bun and framing her face perfectly. Halfway through the movie JJ sits up and turns down the volume.

"I'm ready to talk," She says.

JJ Point of View 

I feel the tears rushing down my cheeks before I start talking. I'm scared she is going to judge me for blaming myself, but as soon as she pulls me close and runs her fingers through my hair I instantly feel safe and cared for.

"Em, I still blame myself," I begin she keeps stroking my hair and listens "If I had just listened to Hotch and stayed out of the field we would be looking at baby names and decorating the nursery. I had already stared a list of names as soon as I found I was pregnant. I would be almost 27 weeks now, the baby would be the size of cauliflower," I felt another rush of tears come as I sob into Emily's chest.

"Oh JJ, you can't blame yourself, I know it's hard not to. There was no way we could have known there were explosives in that house," Emily says, but the words aren't sticking in my brain.

"I know I shouldn't blame myself but I can't help it," After crying and talking for the next 30 minutes Emily announces that she is staying in the guest room tonight and I don't protest.

After saying goodnight to Emily and doing my nighttime routine, I go to open the little box under my bed. The box contained the little first onesie I had picked out, the films from my ultrasound, my pregnancy tests, and finally the list of names I had picked out. For girls so far I had Roslyn after my sister, Amelia, Elia, Lorelei, and Salem. For boys I had Parker, Henry, Finn, and August. I glanced at the paper that now had a tear drop on it before putting it back in the box and climbing into bed.

I lay in bed unable to sleep for a good 45 minutes before getting up and climbing into the guest bed next to Emily. I'm careful not to wake her, but she is a light sleeper.

"Can't sleep Jayje?" She asks groggily while rolling over

"Yeah," I respond "is it okay is we share a bed? I don't want to be alone"

"Of course," She responds and pulls me close. Her touch warms my body and I instantly feel better

"Hey Em?" I say

"Yeah," she mumbles

"I love you," I say. I say this as more than friends but I don't think she understands that

"I love you too JJ," Emily says closing her eyes

Authors Note:

I hope you guys are enjoying this so far! This chapter is pretty short, but I think it's cute! I'm trying to include the backstory as I go so it makes sense, if you have any questions feel free to ask! Please comment your opinions and ideas I love to hear how you guys feel!