There are Stars in Your Eyes

t e n

JJ's Point of View:

We are on the jet on the way home from St. Louis, Hotch is at the table buried in case files, Rossi is across from him asleep, Morgan is listening to music, Spencer is reading a book, and Emily and I are under a blanket on the couch. Emily gets up to use the restroom, and Spencer closes his book and sits next to me.

"You okay?" He asks

"Yeah of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"You could've died today,"

"Do you know how many times I've had a gun pointed at me? This is nothing new," I say with a little more attitude than I intended

Spencer looks up at me, he knows I'm lying. Instead of trying to get the truth out of me, he switches the topic, "How are things with Emily?"

I look around the jet, "Spence, be quiet someone could hear you," I whisper

"Jayje, no one is paying attention,"

"Spencer, I love her and I hate that I can't yell that from the roof tops," I say, there is a hint of sadness in my voice and Spencer looks up at me

"I'm sure the team wouldn't care," 

"I know the team won't care, but Strauss. Emily and I could potentially loose our jobs,"

"If Strauss fires you guys, then I'm leaving too," He says with a grin on his face

"Spence," I say smiling "I could never let you do that,"

"It wouldn't be you, it would be Strauss. Anyways, why are we talking about this? Strauss would never fire you guys, the team would fall apart and even she knows it,"

"Thanks Spence, that really means a lot to me," I say pulling him into a hug. I know he hates hugs, but he is the best hugger I know. By now Emily has come out of the bathroom, she sees Spencer and I talking and takes a seat across from us. She pulls out a book and lets us continue our conversation.

Spencer looks up at me, "Um uh, how did you know?" He asks

"Know what?" I say with a puzzled look on my face

"Well, um" He pauses, "That you like girls, and guys?"

I look into Spencer's eyes and smile slightly, "Well um, I guess it started when I was younger, like middle school. All my friends started hanging out and dating guys and stuff, but I was never really interested. I always thought it wasn't really my thing and that the boy crazy phase would come but it never did. Being part of the LGBTQ+ community meant that you were going to go to hell where I lived, and typically if someone came out as a teenager they would move out right after high school and never turn back. By freshman year, I had a list of girls I liked, some were from school and others from shows and stuff. At the beginning of the year there were only three girls on it, then I started finding myself more and I realized I actually prefer women over men. I dated a few girls in college, but when I started getting older I wanted someone I could spend the rest of my life with. I knew my mother would only approve if that person was a man, so I kind of gave up on women. There's been a few more girls here and there, but mainly men. Emily is the first women in a few years,"

Spencer looks up at me with a confused look on his face trying to reassure him, I say, "It's okay if you don't know, I don't really label myself. You can like whoever you want, I won't judge."

"Um, thanks JJ," Spencer says and goes back to his seat to finish his book.

Emily comes back over and sits next to me. We don't say anything, but she pulls me close and runs her fingers through my hair. I didn't think I was capable of loving someone so much until now.

Emily's Point of View:

As soon as we get back to the BAU, we are greeted with Garcia's flashy outfit and hugs. 

"Drinks at O'Keefe's?" She says eagerly 

"I'm in" I say looking at JJ

"Why not," JJ says, she looks over at the boys

"I'll go if pretty boy goes," Morgan says punching Reid in the shoulder, "I'll teach him how to get the girls,"

Reid fakes a smile and reluctantly says "I guess I'll go," We all look over at Hotch and Rossi

"I'm in," Rossi says

Hotch checks his watch, "Jack is already asleep so why not," He says

We all gather our things and get in the elevator. 

30 minutes later the team is gathered around a table at O'Keefe's with a round of shots.

"Oooo lets play truth or drink!" Garcia says

"I'm in!" Derek and I say, the rest of the team agrees 

Garcia starts, "What's the biggest age gap between you and someone you've slept with?" Rossi and I take a shot, the rest of the team goes around answering. This goes on for a while, most of the questions I answered, but there were somethings that no one would get to know about me.

It's Morgan's turn to ask a question, "What the biggest thing you don't want your parents to know?" He asks

JJ quickly and without thinking slurs, "That I'm not straight." Her face fills with instant regret, we've only talked about this a few times but I know for sure that she doesn't want the team to know just yet. I never told the team straight up that I like women, but I never went out of my way to keep it a secret. The team looks at her, but no one says anything. JJ rushes to the bathroom, and I follow.

"Oh god Em what did I do?" She says as I walk in, tears are streaming down her face and she is pacing around the bathroom floor

"Hey, Jayje. It's gonna be okay," I say rushing to her side, I grab one of her hands and place my other hand on her back

"Emily! How is this going to be okay? I just outed myself to our entire team! We could get fired!" 

"JJ," I say "Take a breath," We breathe in and out together. "Okay, do you want to go talk to the team?" I ask. She shakes her head no, "Do you want to go home?"

"Can we?" She says

"Of course JJ, I'll go get the keys and tell the team I'm taking you home. We can meet at the door, okay?" She nods her head and we walk out of the bathroom

When I get back to the table, Garcia is the first to talk

"Is she okay?" She asks

"Yeah, she will get there. I think she is just a little shocked right now. I'm going to take her home." I say, Garcia nods her head

"Did you know?" Garcia asks

"Yeah, but I don't think she's ready for everyone to know," I say, I know the team and especially Penelope might be hurt by this, but this is JJ's decision and I have to respect that.

"Emily," Hotch says coming up to me as I start to head for the door

"Yeah Hotch?"

"Um, I hope you don't mind me asking this, but are you and JJ a couple?" He asks, he fidgets with his fingers and doesn't make eye contact with me. I feel myself holding in a breath, I don't know how to respond to that. Before I can say anything Hotch talks again, "You know I would support you guys 100%, right? And Strauss would not have to know about it."

I look up at Hotch, "Thanks Hotch, but we are not a couple," I say. I know he can see right through my lie, but I also know that I cannot tell Hotch without talking to JJ first. I smile and meet JJ at the door, I put my arm around her and kiss her cheek

"Ready?" I ask, she smiles and nods her head

Authors Note:

Oh my gosh I just finished the new Greys Anatomy episode and I am bawling!! Anyways I just finished editing this chapter so here it is!! I really wish Spencer was bi in Criminal Minds so I added that little part to open up more story lines in the future! Also, I am going on vacation so I probably won't be updating as much for the next week, I am currently trying to write the next part so I can upload it while I'm gone but I'm kind of hitting a writers block so feel free to comment any ideas!!