Amelioration || Choi Jiung

15

The next day

Jiung and I met up in the afternoon for a picnic date. I was both nervous and excited for it.

We went to a park that's quite far away from the urban area. Sitting on a picnic mat above the soft grass, everything around me seemed beautiful. The trees, the lake nearby, the skies... this felt so nice. Maybe it also has something to do with the special person I'm with.

"Are... are you sure that I can have these?" After Jiung put out all the food on the picnic mat, it took me a while to close my mouth that was opened wide from shock.

"That's a lot of food," I added, "it looks really good, too."

"Eat as much as you want," Jiung smiled, putting the lid of the containers away.

I couldn't help but smile widely as I picked up a macaron. "Thank you for the food then. Oh my god, I had been craving them for so long."

Jiung and I started eating. We didn't talk much but surprisingly the silence was comfortable.

How did he prepare so much food? And many of them are desserts that I like. I wonder if he asked Jongseob about my favorite food.

"Hey." Jiung finally spoke.

"Hmm?" I replied, looking at him.

"How were you, for the past two weeks?"

I silently thought for a while, though I actually didn't want to think about it.

I took a bite of the piece of cake in my plate. "Well, to be honest, terrible."

He stayed quiet, waiting to see if I'll continue.

"During those two weeks I didn't know why I should stay alive, and couldn't find the motivation to do so," I slowly spoke, lowering the plate in my hand as I do so. "But then, I had no choice. My life was fully under control. I couldn't starve myself, run into a car, nor jump off the building. I didn't have the right to end my life."

"But don't worry," I gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm okay now. I just need to rest for a bit."

Jiung looked into my eyes, making me feel a bit embarrassed.

"Can I... hug you?" He suddenly asked.

I nodded, and he moved over, gently pulling me into his embrace.

This isn't the first time we hugged but it still made my heart beat fast.

Thinking about it, could this be how Jiung felt back when he's in highschool?

After we broke the hug, he patted my head.

"I'm so glad that you're still here," he said softly.

"I... I'm glad that you're still here as well..." I couldn't help but feel embarrassed saying things like this.

We remained like this without speaking for some time, and...

"Remember when you said that you like me?"

Shit.

I didn't respond this time, knowing that my cheeks burning hot probably already gave him an answer.

"I like you too."

Oh my fucking god.

Jiung looked at me, smiling. "I already thought that you're pretty the first time I met you."