Amelioration || Choi Jiung

9

2 days later

School doesn't start until 8, so I still had some time left before having to go inside.

I stood next to a building near our school, leaning against the wall as I scrolled through Jiung's instagram profile on my phone, contemplating whether I should text him or not.

I wonder if he got out of the hospital. I haven't heard from him for a while.

At this moment, someone walked past, but stopped right in front of me. I then heard Intak's voice. "Yo, are you not going in?"

"L-later." I immediately put my phone away panicking, not wanting him to see that I was stalking Jiung.

"Oh okay," he nodded, also putting his phone in his pocket, "I also had something to ask you, since we still have some time now."

"What is it?"

Intak fell silent for a moment before he spoke again. "That person at the hospital... the one who tried to end his life, are you close with him?"

Jiung?

I could feel my face heat up thinking about him.

"Kind... of?" I replied.

"There was one time you were with him just near here, right?"

My eyes widened, remembering the last time Jiung walked me to school. I didn't expect him to know.

"Oh... you saw."

"Yeah..."

For some reason, Intak didn't seem as cheerful as usual. He usually smiles at everyone and he jokes about everything. But he kept a straight face as soon as he started asking about Jiung.

"Why are you asking about him all of a sudden?" I asked curiously.

"Just kind of remembered," Intak looked away for a moment and answered after some hesitation, "but... is it really okay for you to be close with him like that?"

I was confused. "Why not?"

"I mean... he's suicidal."

I couldn't help but laugh a bit, "I am, too."

"Exactly, he's not going to make you feel better, or even worse, make you more suicidal." Intak looked concerned.

I stared into space, watching from a distance away as more students started to enter the school gate.

"Well, he did make me feel better because he understood how I feel," I spoke, looking at Intak once again.

I still couldn't figure out why he would suddenly act this way and say these things. What does he want?

"Intak... did I affect your mental health negatively?"

He stayed quiet, making my eyes widen in shock.

I didn't want to guess the meaning behind his actions, but his silence to my question made me assume what he was trying to tell me.

"Why... aren't you answering?"

"N-no... you didn't affect my mental health negatively," Intak finally replied, running his hand through his hair. "I mean... you never showed your negative emotions in front of me."

Well, he's right. I never acted vulnerable in front of him except that one time at the beach.  We've been friends for quite some time but I never opened up to him.

"If that's true then... good," I said.

I had no plans to open up to him anyways.

Intak bit his lip, looking frustrated as his arm quickly dropped back to his side. "But I want to help you... I thought we're good friends."