Loverboy - Fransykes (SQ to The Dilemma)

7. Let Me In

I'm writing your story you FUCKASS CUZ U DONT WRITE SMH

Whore

this was Asking4AHorizons doing, they wrotr the first 200 words for my lazy ass
😫 gotta love this bitch

...

It was a pretty day, Joshua supposed. Cold but that meant wearing hoodies and wearing hoodies meant comfort. It meant safety from the world and himself. Oliver agreed wildly so with that. 

Hiding was comfortable. 

Joshua sat on the bench, Oliver following his cue and doing the same. Oliver was visibly nervous whilst Joshua was silently bothered. 

The void separating them made Joshua extremely sad and doubtful. He couldn't know whether Oliver wanted to be in his presence again. He couldn't know if things would, could ever be what they once were. 

It wasn't a date, more of a get-together between them and them alone. Which Joshua hoped to be a date. But Oliver didn't look nearly comfortable enough to be on a date. He just looked completely out of place and did the shittiest job trying to hide it. 

Joshua's mood might have gone to shit had Oliver not been so cute trying to hide his nervousness. At some point, Oliver offered him a rose he pulled out of thin air to Josh with the cutest apprehensive smile. And that warmed Joshua enough to stay. 

The two didn't make conversation, they didn't know what to talk about that wasn't revolving around Olivers disappearance and Joshua's eating disorder. Whenever they tried to talk about something else, it ended up as an awkward mess neither wanted to continue.

But maybe silence was good. Maybe they needed to sit there, together, in quiet. Josh needed to know if he could trust Oliver again and he wanted to remember when they sat in silence over a year ago. Oliver made him feel beautiful, even for a short moment.

Over a year ago and Oliver was a beautiful, inspiring guy Joshua was falling for but now when he turned his head to look at the man he would say he loved there was a drastic difference. Oliver was always closed off, but now, he couldn't be. Josh needed Oliver to open up if he wanted to be trusted again and there was clearly so many things the man was hiding.

"What, am I that captivating?" Oliver remarked once he noticed Joshua's long glances.

Josh blushed and hid his face in his oversized sleeves. "No- I mean yes! But- Fuck you!" He whined.

Oliver laughed and nudged his friend. Friend? Or boyfriend? They said starting over but what did that make them? It was a whirlwind of confusion and fear. Oliver loved Josh and wanted to fix it but he didn't know how. Every time he was faced with a problem he ran away. He couldn't do that again, not anymore. Maybe he shouldn't have come back, or went to rehab, or talked to Josh in the first place-

But of course he didn't regret meeting Joshua or getting clean. He regretted not noticing what Josh was hiding, or how he reacted, but he couldn't change any of it. The past is the past, and the only way it can be fixed is making things right in the present. It was so hard because messing it up was so easy.

"So, Oliver-" Joshua sighed and rubbed his hands together. The tips of his fingertips were pink with cold. November was coming again. November and-

"It's your birthday soon!" Joshua cut off the conversation he'd been meaning to have. He always pushed it away. He was tired of the serious stuff, and Olivers birthday was coming up.

Oliver winced. "Ye-yeah."

"Oh come on, don't be so sad about it! Birthdays are like, the best thing. I can bake you a cake!"

Olivers eyes went wide. "No. Last time I baked with you, the measurments were off, you put salt instead of flower, and you forgot half the ingredients."

Before Josh could ask what Oliver was talking about, he remembered. He called Oliver asking to help bake brownies, or cookies, whatever it was, for Daniel's birthday when really it was nowhere near his friends birthday. He wanted an excuse to see Oliver.

"Oh my god, I remember that," Joshua laughed. "But I'm better now, I swear! Like, I took a baking class."

Oliver snorted. "Why would you do that? They're like, so boring."

"'Cause they advised I pick up a hobby to distract myself aside from work and ironically I picked baking but anyway! I can bake. Believe me I'm so much better."

"I can't trust that until you bring me freshly baked cookies."

"You just want an excuse to eat good bakeries!" Joshua squealed.

Oliver shrugged. He wasn't wrong.

"God, enough abiut that. Your birthday! I'm so fucking excited."

"Uhuh," Oliver mumbled.

Josh frowned and stared at Oliver. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Josh reached out to pull Olivers face back, to make him look at Josh. "Talk to me-" But Oliver shrugged him aside.

"Let's uh, lets go home, huh?"

So much for patching things up.

~_~_~_~

*inhale*

AYEEEE

again thank u 2 asking4ahoruzon for hElPIng Me OuT with this chapter

shorter than intended bUt the other part i coulda wrote in just didnt fit with the scene so far sO that will be next chapter

HAHAHHA IM ACTUALLY MAPPING IT OUT

dudes i promise ill write it down this time i PROMISE i wont forget
not just that but the story too

how long has it been-

oh fuck that means OVER THREE MONTHS OKAY HOWDY HOE I WONT TAKE LONGER THAN A MONTH I PROMISE 😭

dude november 30th was liiit
i dont remember it BUT NOVEMBER WAS yeah no it wasnt lit it was horrendous anyways bYE FALICIA