Loverboy - Fransykes (SQ to The Dilemma)

9. Honesty

His head hurt. A lot. His mouth was dry and his arms were burning. Shit, did he get drunk last night? No, no he-

Oh fuck.

Oliver opened his eyes to the same dull room. It was empty. How did he get here? He passed out in the bathroom at his job. Could he even call it that anymore? Fuck. He really screwed up, again.

The door opened and Tom's shocked face met with Olivers. Quickly it fell into a sympathetic frown. He pulled up a chair and sat by his brother.

"Hey, man."

"What happened?" Oliver asked in a whisper, so quiet Tom almost didn't hear it.

"Your boss, Gerard? He called Jordan and said you passed out so we went over to pick you up. You had a panic attack and- What even happened Oli? Why the fuck were your arms bleeding I mean- What the hell?"

"I'm sorry," Oliver whimpered. "Where's Josh? Does he know?"

"Oh, yeah, he knows, and he's fucking pissed."

Olivers jaw fell open. A part of him really hoped Joshua wouldn't be angry with him, actually believed Josh thought he was worth it. But of course he wasn't.

Oliver was quickly in tears again and trying to stop his exhausted body and mind from having another panic attack.

"What the fuck did you do?" Jordan shouted.

"I didn't know!" Tom was on his feet, letting Jordan sit by Oliver.

"Hey, look at me." Jordan stared Oliver in the eye. "In seven, hold four, out eight, okay? Do that with me." Jordan continued to example the breath system, Oliver attempting to follow. In minutes, he was breathing normally again and trying not to think of what Tom said.

He's fucking pissed

"Where's Josh?"

Jordan sighed and sat down. "He's on a walk right now. He's a bit shaken up, but, you need to calm down right now. Can you tell me what happened at work?"

"I.. I started thinking, and then I dropped the spray bottle, and then- and then people were talking about me and I ran to the bathroom and then Gerard came I just couldn't breathe and-"

"Oli, slow down," Jordan directed. "You can't stress yourself out more. Look, you don't have to think about it much right now, but I think it's best if you see someone. And I mean a therapist. Not your old one, if you don't want, but to be frank, you're a mess."

Jordan was right, as much as he didn't want him to be.

"Can.. can I speak to Josh?"

Jordan bit his lip, contemplating. "Are you sure that's a good idea? You're exhausted-"

"I can't rest without talking to him."

Standing, Jordan walked out and started to call Joshua. Oliver kept thinking. Was he mad because he realized what a fuck up Oliver was? By now, he must've realized how useless he was. Josh deserved someone way better than this.

Oliver continued to worry, not realizing it'd been thirty minutes and Josh was at the door. He was sweating.

"Sorry to take so long, I was getting chewed out by Dan."

"Why?"

Josh waved him off. "It doesn't matter." He took a seat. "So-"

"I'm so sorry, Josh, if you want me to leave I get that-"

"Woah woah woah! Slow the hell down. Who said I want you to leave?"

"Tom said you were angry."