Dance Until It Hurts [L.S]

F O U R

Hello beautiful people, I just wanted to make something clear.
Louis is not going to be bulimic or anorexic here. I know it might seem to, but no. It's a triggering topic for me and I would never write it.

I've been through bulimia a couple of years ago. I don't mind talking about it, but i'm sure I could never write or narrate that because well, I'ts dark.

I always say this but if you need to talk about something, you can talk to me.

Eating disorders come with the no verbalization of problems. So it's always helpful to talk.

Just that.

Hope you have a great day!
Mag 🦋

F O U R

So basically the rest of my first week was bullshit.

Every morning I woke up just to be denigrated by Mr. Styles in class. To be pushed away from Emily and to leave all my energy in the ballet class to show that bastard I was the best. Not leaving enough energy for my next classes of the day.

Besides, after Harry told me I should lose weight, I had reduced my meals and multiplied my training in the gym after classes.

I still ate a lot though, Niall would never let me not eat. He even invited me to dinner twice this week with Claudia.
I tried to avoid talking about my awful relationship with Harry. Actually, my non-existent relationship with Harry. Because well, he kept ignoring me. All the time. Like I was not even there.
Not that I expected him to love me right away, but well, at least I thought he would notice me. You know?

I followed his advice and I didn't speak to him again, also I started to focus more on my jumps. Again, draining my energy in every sequence.

I still don't understand how my muscles still respond to my brain. I'm tired and stressed. Everything hurts and he still doesn't notice me.

It's okay, Louis. He will. You're the best.

Let me say that all this stress isn't good for me, so it's not news that I used Caleb more than once this week too.

But with all that I was going through, who can blame me?

On the weekend Niall, Em, Jake and I went to a party downtown so we could celebrate our last first week of academy. Because after all it was our last year. We should celebrate that every week.

But It was bloody awful. Worst. Party. Ever.

Jake and Emily took off early to his house, surprising.
Niall was spinning around with some girl, not paying attention to me, and I was too drunk to remember anything else.

I was bored, and drunk. But mostly bored.

And today it was monday again. Yey.
Three hours ahead of just Harry.
Harry. Harry. Harry. Bloody Harry.

After a cup of tea I changed my clothes and headed to the classroom. Emily stayed at Jake's last night too, so I was on my own.
Again, Yey.

When I dragged my tired legs to the classroom, everyone was already there, and I was fucking wonderfully late.
Again, Yey.

"Mr. Tomlinson. You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry." - I said.

I walked with my head down to my spot at the back while he kept speaking.