Wattpad Clichés 101

Gay unicorns

So, I know the title sounds pretty offensive but hey, I'm not saying it. The thousands of stories and movies out there do this and it frankly annoys the shit out of me.

Our beloved little main lead who, by the way, considers herself super ugly has this best friend who is either 

A) a gay unicorn who throws glitter and sass around like confetti, tells her she has a bad haircut and her hair looks shit, and is crushing on the guy that MC is crushing on. Like, bruh, we know he ain't coming to you because he's supposed to be straight and go to MC and kiss her and shit.

Or

B) A goth or reclusive lesbian who is not out yet and it's so obvious that she has a crush on MC. 

Problem with this?

The gay unicorn guy never gets the guy he's crushing on and I'd pay for that to happen, tbh. Like, why does the object of the main character's obsession have to be so strictly straight that they make fun of the guy for having a crush on them? It sucks. You're living in the 21st century. Get on with the times already.

And oh, of course, this goth recluse can never get MC to realize how beautiful she is and at that point, I feel so sad for her, it sucks.

And there's no gender-fluid people in any stories I've ever read, nobody's bicurious in a non kinky sense, which technically isn't even kinky. Don't hate on me, I'm trying to make it as less offensive as possible. There's nobody who's asexual. There's nobody whose sexuality is somewhere in the spectrum which isn't broadly classified. 

And oh, the only reason gay people are put in the story? To add sass. Make a multi-dimensional, non-cookie cutter cut-out gay character for fucking once. That's all I'm asking.