Wattpad Clichés 101

16. Mate 2.0

Where have I been, right? Eh. Life sucks.

To quote Jacob Black, "Life sucks and then you die. Yeah, I should be really lucky then."

Anyhow, here's the rant.

PS: What do you think I look like? XD

Now, today's rant is going to be again about mates. *cue le gasps*

But this time, from a very shitty, male's point of view. Please proceed with caution as,
1) I'm not responsible for the amount of cringe.
2) I don't cover suicide charges.
3) I've warned you already and finally,
4) Please don't die?

Anyway.

The sample excerpt of a book that has a gazillion reads and a zillion votes, and megabillion fangirl comments, is as shown below:

I stepped into the school and smirked as every girl passing me smiled at me. They wanted to sleep with me, all of them, because I'm just so hot.

Narcissistic much?

As usual, I ignored them but I enjoyed the attention even though I wouldn't admit it. And then when I finally reached my locker, a very simply dressed, blonde pack slut, stood in front of my lock in a very provocative positive.

First of, Bruv, it's school, right? How the fuck is every girl wanting to sleep with you? I'm pretty sure there must be a lesbian or two.

Also.

It's school again. Unless we're in those BDSM school books... *shivers*

Anyhow.

Brittany looked like a bitch in heat and I could always help her but only if the writer would stop interrupting.

Okay, fuck you.

'You're going to fuck this whore again?' Asked my wolf, Ash.

I mean why does the werewolf always have this alter ego that's more sane, interesting and sassy wolf alter ego?

I snorted and ignored it and gave her a time for tonight and then decided to get to my class. When I entered, I clashed into something small. Looking down, I saw a small woman who had toppled over. She looked up into my eyes.
"Mate." I growled, my wolf reigning in complete control of me.

So much for not being obvious but okay.

I then rejected her and she started crying, my wolf scolding me as I did so. She ran away crying. She was a weakling anyway. She couldn't be a Luna.

Bruh, you just fucking met!?!?

My wolf stopped talking to me.

Obviously bitch.

I started losing my mind. I needed her back.

Uhm... No?

She came back to me even hotter than she was before.

The ex effect?

She's a special sort of a wolf.

Okay.

There was a battle because of her.

Uh huh?

We won without any visible effort.

No.

She's pregnant.

Fuck me.

They are twins.

Fuck you.

They are boys.

Fuck all.

We live happily ever after.

So fucking done.