Rafael Attkinson was just a typical student - by typical, I mean the almost perfect student which leads him to be featured at the annual STATUS article featuring the lovelife of the campus kings and queens, atleast that's what he thinks. But the tab...
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Trouble
"Where is it?" I looked all over my place but I can't seem to find it. My telephone started ringing and I definitely know who the hell it is. "Rage" bungad ko sa telepono.
"It's me again Trouble. You know you should pay your dept right?" Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa telepono. "I know, just give me a little more time" I heard him chuckle on the other side.
"Fine, malakas ka sakin eh. I'll give you six months to pay your dept or should I say your late lover's dept" mariin akong napapikit habang patuloy parin ang mahinang pag tawa nya.
"Zyrus is fucking dead rage! Let the people rest in peace"
"Don't get too worked up. Just pay me and you will ba able to live normally again" By then, he ended the call.
Kaagad na nanghina ang tuhod ko. Mentioning Zyrus made me feel the loneliness once again. The day he left me, my life has always been messed up. I tried to kill myself again and again and when I finally has the guts to do it. A Rafael Attkinson appeared.
"I didn't wished to be saved goddamn it!" A sudden image of Zyrus' smiling face appeared in my memory "How can I survive this Zy? I know you want me to live but how?"
"What will you do if you are me?"
My tears keep falling until my eyes went blurry and I found myself passing out.
...
I smell something burning inside my condo kaya napa balikwas ako ng bangon at pumunta sa kitchen. There I saw Rafael cooking?
Pano sya nakapasok? I thought he doesn't want to cross paths with me then why is he here?
I started walking but when I took one steps or two, I felt dizzy. "Trouble? Your awake? You shouldn't have gotten up" Inalalayan nya ako papuntang kwarto. Is this really Rafael? It's like he has two different personalities. Ibang iba sa Rafael na naka salubong ko kanina.
"I'm fine. What are you doing here?" He grabbed his bag and handed me the picture. I've been looking for this. Pano to napunta sakanya?
"I want to return this to you. You left it in my car when you were drunk. Don't worry, I wont tell anyone, I respect your privacy..." Napatitig ako sakanya. He respects my privacy? I didn't expect to hear it from him.
Even my family can't accept me and my relationship with Zyrus. "I tried cooking but it failed so I ordered some food for you. I just hope we never crossed paths again"
And that struck me, he's personality resembles so much from Zyrus. He cares and respects everyone he came across. But not everyone sees it.
They saw him as the perfectionist who doesn't care about anything but perfection. "We live at the same floor, that's pretty much impossible"
"Whatever"
Kinuha nya ang gamit nya pati narin ang mga plastic bag na dala nya. He walked towards me at ibinato sakin ang thermometer saka nag madaling umalis.
Cute, just like Zy.
...
"Trouble!" I saw Zy smiling widely at me. I miss that smile, so much. "Why are you staring at me like that. Para namang antagal kong nawala" He was smiling but I he was slowly walking away.
I wanted to stop him, I wanted to shout just for him to know that I don't want him to leave. But there was no voice nor movements coming from me.
A sudden relief filled me when he stopped, but when he slowly turned to face me. It wasn't him. I saw the face of Rafael with the same smile as Zyrus.
...
Dahan dahan kong iminulat ang aking mata at wala sa sariling napatitig sa kisame. "What a dream" I said while taking a deep breath. I turned to look at the clock and it was already 6 pm.
Ilang oras ba akong tulog?
My eyes widden when I realized that I am late for my part time job. "Heck!" Nagmadali akong mag bihis at pumunta sa beer house na pinag t-trabahuan ko.
"T! Bakit ngayon kalang?" Bati sakin ni Falcon na katrabaho ko. "Nakatulog kasi ako"
"Buti nalang talaga at wala si Uncle Max ngayon kundi patay tayo" Uncle Max is our boss. He prefer us to call him Uncle dahil yun na daw ang nakasanayang tawag sakanya ng iba. "San daw?"
"Aniversary daw nila ng asawa nya" Napa tango nalang ako at nag madaling mag bihis ng uniform. "Maramimg costumer pre kaya bilisan mo dyan at kailangan namin ng tulong"
Tumango lang ako at lumabas para gawin ang trabaho ko. Uncle Max's beer house has been really famous. Many families and friends came her for celebration.
My shift went smoothly and it was time to go home. It was our pay day kaya mas lalong sumaya ang mga kasamahan ko. May iba pang nag ayang mag inom.
"Sure kabang hindi ka sasama"
"May pupuntahan pa ako" napa iling nalang sya. "Another part time job? Busy mo ah"
"Kailangan lang" Nagpa alam na ako sakanila at tiluyang umalis.
I'm doing this to pay my dept. It's not really mine, It was Zyrus'. He was part of some gang and he owe them a lot. One year ago, he died and the gang started to hunt me. Hindi naman ako nag matigas pa at nangakong mag bayad sakanila.
I came from a wealthy family of Dalton's kaya naging madali lang sakin na bayaran ang principal amount. But when my parents knew what I've been doing, they got so mad to the point that they kick me out of the family.
Now I'm working hard to pay the interest. I still have a million left to pay. One million in six months.
It's impossible.
Napa buntong hininga nalang ako at sinubukang huwag nalang isipin ang bagat na yun. I went back to an abandoned building near my condo.
Ito madalas ang tambayan ko. Wala namang madalas na pumupunta rito kaya tahimik lang ang lugar. I prefer quiet place, it's my comfort zone.
It is where I can think and find solutions for my problems.
While I was busy watching the sky a sudden memory came to me. It was when I was a child. My mom always told me to just be me. Because that is what's important. But when she found out the truth about me. She abandoned me.
The person who I expected to accept me was also the one who left me at times when I needed her the most.
And since then, I never cared about anything or anyone. Because I know that one day they will left me and I will be alone.
