winter - mafuyu/uenoyama oneshots (BASICALLY DISCONTINUED, MAY UPDATE RARELY)

chapter eight | nightmares

• requested by im_so_poor
• TW: tr@uma

Mafuyu trembled slightly, nuzzling further into Uenoyama's chest. Uenoyama stirred slightly, holding him tighter.

Uenoyama brushed Mafuyu's face with his hands, feeling something wet.

Uenoyama gently turned Mafuyu around, so they were face-to-face and saw tears sliding down his soft cheeks.

He swiped them away with his thumb, as he observed Mafuyu with concern. Mafuyu shook even harder.

"Mafu, angel, I'm here," Uenoyama mumbled, planting a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Y—" Mafuyu started, Uenoyama perking his ears up.

"Yuki,"

Uenoyama's fond look unfolded in a second and the name, dread bubbling under his skin.

Mafuyu was definitely getting better at expressing his feelings, but he had already locked out too much.

Ever so often, Mafuyu would get nightmares about that same day, the same day that changed both their lives.

Yuki was beautiful, from the photos Uenoyama had seen, but he couldn't help but feel anxiety trickle through his veins as he heard the name.

One specific boy in his school, with amber eyes and light brown hair, looked strangely similar to Yuki.

And though Mafuyu had chosen Uenoyama himself, though Mafuyu had confessed first, Uenoyama felt a strange fear that he would be replaced with Yuki's lookalike.

Mafuyu's breathing hitched in his throat, and Uenoyama plunged himself out of thought, rubbing Mafuyu's back softly.

"Yu—yuki," Mafuyu stuttered.

"Shh, I'm here," Uenoyama tried keeping his voice from cracking; seeing his lover in such pain always made him feel like a stranger, wishing he was the one feeling it instead of Mafuyu.

Uenoyama bit Mafuyu's lip softly, trying to make sure he didn't go too far deep into those drowning thoughts of his.

Mafuyu squinted his eyes open, a strange glint in his eyes. Uenoyama's heart pounded from the proximity, but ignored it and showered Mafuyu in kisses.

"Ue?" Mafuyu's voice had a weakness that left a bitter taste in Uenoyama's mouth.

"I'm right here," said Uenoyama, firmly.

"St— don't—"

"Take your time,"

"You won't— le— leave m— me?" Mafuyu's usually lit up face looked too worn and sad for Uenoyama's liking.

Uenoyama knew what was about to come, he knew about the thoughts that bind him with no escape, the voice in his head luring him into its depressing grip.

And with that, Uenoyama started speaking.

"Hey, look at me alright? I need you to breathe for me. Slowly, inhale, and exhale— Yeah, look you're doing it! Okay, can you see?"

Mafuyu nodded weakly.

"Alright, take your time. You don't have to talk if you don't want to."

Mafuyu hugged Uenoyama, feeling his chest go damp.

"Hey, don't cry baby. It's okay, I'm here for you."

A muffled noise was emitted from Mafuyu, and Uenoyama could barely make it out as 'thank you.'

"Nono, it's okay,"

Uenoyama heard another muffled 'sorry,' and Uenoyama intertwined their fingers.

"You know I love you right?" Mafuyu said, as if he could hear the voices in Uenoyama's head.

Uenoyama gazed at Mafuyu with an unreadable expression, slightly surprised by the sudden firmness in his voice.

Uenoyama nuzzled their noses together.

"Yeah, I do."