"In order to be good at this job, you can't personalize things."
Since I've started working whether it was at fast food restaurants, or medical spas -that one thing was always the same.
The way people act has very little to do with you and if they say they're acting a certain way because of you, don't even personalize it then!
We are all living life and things happen that we can't possibly control; when people are acting foul towards you, chances are they're either having a bad day or they're going through a hard time.
Even if a person's actions are causing you harm, and they wish bad for you; protect yourself, but don't take it personal.
Just think about it like this: someone with a black jacket steps on your toe, you cry out in agony and they shove you to the ground. Subconsciously, you may see a person in a black jacket and your heart will race, you'll be mentally placed in the same position because of the commonalities.
Same thing happens to people within their relationships wether it be a stranger, acquaintance, co worker, friend or close personal loved one. These things are called triggers and they happen wether we are aware of them or not.
What can we do about situations that make us feel defensive?
Communication is key. Have you ever heard someone say "it's not what you say it's how you say it"? Tone of voice is a huge part of communication and using the situationally appropriate tone helps out a lot. I will talk more about this in another chapter.
Approaching a person who is hostile or aggressive with kindness goes a long way so when you are able to depersonalize situations that may feel personal, you're able to better understand an angry or hostile person and not be so distracted by their behavior or tone of voice.
How can we work to know our own triggers?
When dealing with others, we have things that put us on the defense or cause us to want to (in my case) curl into a ball and cry if I can't defend myself in that moment. I'll talk more about that more in other chapters. But why do we feel this way?
There's many situations in our lives that form memories and our memories affect our every day lives if we aren't aware of our thoughts- think back to the man in the black jacket- you can't control the reactions to chemical signals that your brain sends to the rest of your body if you aren't aware that it's happening; therefore, you need to practice your self awareness; that man in the black jacket could be the trigger to any number of emotions.
Analyze the way you react to situations as though you were an outsider looking in, what do your reactions make you look like? Hopefully, it doesn't look like those people who aggravate you so much. If so, figure out what feeling made you act this way and sit with that feeling, talk about that feeling with close loved ones and decide a better way to react on it.
Get to the root of the problem so that you can dig out that dying old tree and plant whatever new life you decide to replace it with- just make sure you nourish it this time.
We have to be adaptable to changes and accepting of differences in order to truly know what love is.
The most important love you can practice is loving yourself and whenever you do, you are able to spread that love and fill dark times with sunlight- allow the plant that is your personality to grow in love.
Once you find that love, it will be easier to know peoples bad attitudes and lack of consideration has nothing to do with you. Their actions won't be able to take you out of that happy place when you no longer rely on the actions of others to get you there.
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Life experiences
Short StoryI've been through my own struggle, whether it was created in my head by way of prolonged sadness or bitterness/resentment, or if I was struggling with things I had no control over like failed friendships, a broken heart, or family drama. This is my...
