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𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟎, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟐
IT WAS WHEN THE NIGHTMARES GOT BAD.
chenle was terrified to get to sleep. he couldn't handle the fifteen year old girl's smiling face and kind eyes in his mind. yiren would be hugging him one second, then crying her heart out the next. chenle would be hiding in a corner, hugging his knees to his chest. everything around him was dark, then he'd blink and be back in sicheng's room. he was watching everything play out like it was a bad movie. he'd see himself at age thirteen, trying to shake yiren into her senses, then screaming for his brothers.
he would watch an eighteen year old sicheng and a sixteen year old xiaojun run in. it went on for what seemed like forever; sicheng trying to keep yiren awake, xiaojun calling 911, and chenle crying for his parents. suddenly, they were at the hospital. it all seemed way too real for it to be a dream. the medicine smell, the doctors rushing yiren into a room, and yiren's sad smile. at this point, chenle knew it was a dream. then chenle would be back in the dark, turn around and then bump into the girl. she'd be smiling just like she always was, and wrap him into a hug. for a split second chenle felt like she was okay. that they were all okay. and then he'd hear someone crying. he'd look around, and then notice how the girl in his arms had gone pale and limp. he'd let out a noise of shock and jump back, only to bump into that same girl. except this time, she was pale, her makeup smeared across her eyes and lips, and her eyes were dull. she was crying. she would mumble something incoherently, but chenle knew exactly what she was saying. "you did this."
he'd try to block her out and would scream at himself to wake up. this went on for months. it was the exact same thing every time, but he could never get used to it. his already unstable relationship with his brothers deteriorated. screaming matches about nothing in particular. two days after his fourteenth birthday, he resorted to unhealthy coping mechanisms. the nightmares went away after that.
"chenle!"
jisung's eyes snapped open at the outburst from their history teacher. he looked over to the chinese male across the room. the two boys sat in the back row, both hating attention and didn't care for class at all. this was the only class they shared together besides a.p english. he watched as chenle lazily arched an eyebrow at their teacher, mr. son.
mr. son walked over to chenle, glaring at him. "can you explain to the class why you were incapable of answering my question?"
"yeah, i wasn't paying attention." chenle answered. jisung cringed as he noticed the slight slur in his words and the far off tone in his voice. he knew mr. son heard it too.
"are you drunk? in school?" he asked, clearly shocked.
chenle allowed himself to laugh a bit. "no. this," he pulled out his plastic water bottle. "is water." he undid the cap, and took a large sip.
